Is The Pursuit of Happiness a Dead End Road?
77
Is the pursuit of happiness a dead end road? I'll give you the answer now so you don't have to read the rest of this hub. The answer is NO- if you don't pursue it. Well, now you have to read more to understand what I'm talking about.
No sunshine and puppy dog smiles sold here, but it's fair to say the pursuit of happiness is quickly becoming America's new favorite past time. I just read an article stating, 'A decade ago there were 50 books about happiness and now there are 4,000.' Yeah, I know that statistic is alarming, but let me point out the bigger picture; we need books to tell us how to be happy?
We never found the definitive fountain of youth. Instead we are on the hot pursuit of happiness. However, the definition of happiness has not been redefined since the old stand-by's: money, sex, power, health, and wealth. The good news about new happiness research is we're finding out those typical desires are not what makes someone happy. Research confirms we don't know what happiness is nor how to obtain it.
Lottery winners have been studied and it was discovered they are no happier, months down the road, than people who don't win. Research indicates older people are happier than younger folks- not what we expected is it? People with kids are not happier, yet many will continue the quest for starting a family.
Workplace happiness is a huge area of study and interest to management and Human Resources departments. I worked in Human Resources for a few years and it was the unhappiest place I ever worked. Ever try to make 400+ employees happy? Ever try making the employees happy, meeting and exceeding bottom line numbers, and making corporate folks happy too? Two things we now know about happy workers: 1. They came to work happy, meaning happiness doesn't begin at work. Happy people make happy workers, not the other way around 2. Too many happy people at work create issues of excess socializing and less productive work.
The issue is we've lost the point of what happiness is. Ironically, Americans have the most (material possessions) yet have the highest incidence of depression. We're in an economic crisis and only a small percentage have figured out money doesn't equal happiness. People foreclosed on are still mourning their houses and devising plans to spend more than they have. Survivors of The Great Depression claimed their family and community were closer and spent more time together. They remember happy times instead of all the "Depression".
It used to be the American Dream was attainable and now we've learned that lesson is an illusion. It really only applies to immigrants, possibly because they still believe in the dream. Only the rich can afford to be beautiful, so happiness just seems to be the obvious choice.
We post pics on fb and photo albums that make us all "look" happy, and again I think this is part because of the new popularity in the pursuit of happiness. "Look at me I'm happier than you!" In the end we aren't being authentic to ourselves. We haven't jumped off the 'keep up with the Jones' wagon. Getting back to the happy pics on fb, I've seen these people out there taking pictures of their kids and scenery and never getting dirty. Essentially, they are behind the scenes/camera and not engaging in the activities with their family and kids. It's also been noted, doing makes people happier than having. For the people taking pics while your children are doing something, you're really missing out on something with them.
My personal opinion is people who chase around happiness just look silly. It's similar to the people who chase the fountain of youth through Botox, lifts, and tucks- they just look silly and unrecognizable after a while! Your state of mind is the only thing you own, but that won't keep others from cashing in on it or telling you what will make you happy.
I don't believe people are qualified to search for happiness because often it's not what we think it is. We get a happy buzz from purchasing something new, and we get confused that it made us happy so we keep trying to get the same feeling and yet that feeling was not authentic happiness to begin with.
A simple discussion with your doctor can make you a happier person. My doctor tried giving me a prescription for an anti-depressant after I had my baby daughter. I declined and started taking a natural sleep aid, Melatonin. Turns out all I needed was sleep to be happier. People become disturbed if they are not happy all the time and doctors, along with 4,000 'How To Be Happy' books, are quick to assist them.
What I find interesting is I don't know anyone who hasn't attributed their happiness to tragic events in their life. Ironic isn't it? People don't want bad things to happen to them, but when/if it does, they say they are happier or a better person for it. A Psychology Today article states, "We need more than pleasure to live the best possible life. Our contemporary quest for happiness has become a hunt for a life protected from bad feelings, free from pain and confusion. People who have suffered the most, who have been forced to contend with shocks they never anticipated and to rethink the meaning of their lives, may have the most to tell us about that profound and intensely fulfilling journey to what philosopher's call the 'good life'."
Happiness isn't a mission, a destination, or the latest gadget. It is an outlook- finding things in your life to be thankful for. Don't try to be happy, just be.
The Cure For Happiness
- Contentment
- Don't define happiness.
- Don't pursue it, just recognize it.
- Resiliency is far more useful.
- Do not take a dose of happiness in pill form.
Happy Quotes
"If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. " ~Edith Wharton
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." ~Frederick Keonig
"If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have a paradise in a few years." ~Bertrand Russell
"The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment." ~Doug Larson
"If you observe a really happy man you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden, or looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi desert. He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar button that has rolled under the radiator. He will not be striving for it as a goal in itself. He will have become aware that he is happy in the course of living life twenty-four crowded hours of the day." ~W. Beran Wolfe
"Happiness is the resultant of the relative strengths of positive and negative feelings rather than an absolute amount of one or the other." ~Norman Bradburn
"Perfect Happiness is the absence of striving for happiness" ~Unknown
Sources & Suggested Reading
- The Psychology of Money (and Debt)
"Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances." Benjamin Franklin The realization that Americans have accumulated way too much stuff came no sooner than the... - Skeptic The Magazine Current Issue: volume 16 number 1
"The Ignorance of Bliss" - The Hidden Side of Happiness | Psychology Today
Pleasure only gets you so far. A rich, rewarding life often requires a messy battle with adversity. By Kathleen McGowan | Psychology Today
vote upvote downshareprintflag
- Useful (11)
- Funny (1)
- Awesome (10)
- Beautiful (5)
- Interesting
CommentsLoading...
This really nails it, Izetti. It really struck me when you gave the example of the parents taking pics of their kids instead of doing the activity with them. Well done!
Good stuff Laura,
Remember that piece I wrote about depression? This is the the other side of my point. Well, you've got me thinking, and I'll probably have another comment after this all sinks in. Check your mail kid .. I need your help.
jim
Loved this hub! The bit about the camera actually reminded me of an old film with Micheal Keaton called My Life. So good. Part of what the man had to learn was to set the camera down and begin to engage with the people he had willingly chosen to distance himself from.
As for suffering, I had an English teacher who had gone through a ton of really hard stuff (like a husband committing suicide) and she was the most content person. Have you ever read Fahrenheit 451? It's short and also touches on the societal pursuit of happiness.
Excellent hub!
To my mind, nothing in the outer world can produce happiness because it really has no relationship to the state of our affairs. The joy in living emanates from the spiritual realities within that flow incessantly through our being like some remarkable elixir. It is not something that can be pursued externally, but tapped into internally.
Great topic, great hub.
Forever His,
Great hub izettl, Reminds me of the song "Don't Worry, Be Happy" Also no matter what our mood is, if we force ourselves to smile when we are feeling down it can change our whole outlook.
indigord~ Thank you. I'm a visual person and I pictured people who chase happiness like people who get lip injections or botox with strange smiles.
Christoph~ it's sad really. I realized it when my husband and I took our daughter to a Pumpkin Patch and all the parents were busy taking pics and bribing their kids to pose for a pic. So my husband, who is partially disabled was actually playing and helping these kids get around and climb haystacks while the other parents were just trying to get a photo op on the sidelines.
tmwnp~ Yes, this is related to your depression piece. I think I'll put a link to it.
elefanza~ I do remember the Michael Keaton film and I think I've read Farenheit 451 because it sounds very familiar. I'll have to check it out to be sure. Great to see you girl! I love your comments because they remind me of stuff and I realize we have a lot in common.
RevLady~ Wow, what a beautiful comment. I think we know that suffering is only temporary and transpires into something better. "It is not something that can be pursued externally, but tapped into internally"- I love it. Music to my ears Rev. THank you for stopping by.
carrie450~ actually physically smiling will make you feel happy according to several psychology studies. Actions precede emotions. Thank you for stopping by and hope you are smiling right now!
izetti,
It seems to me that the pursuit of Happiness is much like chasing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow...the goal is a constantly shifting illusion. If you focus on the ground and insist on striving for material wealth you'll miss the beauty and pleasure of the sun shining through the mist and the magical spectrum shimmering above.
It's not so much that happiness is unattainable as it is that people often develop priorities that won't make them really happy even if their goals are realized.
I'm just happy I read this hub.
Thanks.
CP
Christopher Price~ Thanks for the comment. You put it well when you say "the goal is a constantly shifting illusion". Happiness isn't so hard- if you look around right now, you'll find you have it already.
I agree wholeheartedly."Money can't buy me love" The Beatles,I think.
Happiness with one's situation in life is contentment . Peace of mind brings contentment . So the pursuit of happiness is really the search for peace of mind.
Its true what you say about Americans and depression, which us sometimes confused with sadness:
http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Know-If-Your-Sadnes . We do need to lighten up and chase that blue bird of happiness
I thought your analysis about why people may be so concerned about happiness was an interesting idea. The simple fact is that happiness, on our own personal terms, of course, is simple choice in any moment. We don't really want to be happy all the time. That would be dull. We want to have experiences that engage us. Happiness may be part of them but is pretty meaningless as an entity onto itself.
Very thoughtful piece of writing. Just be, take a deep breath and concentrate on the things in life that you are grateful for. That's happiness.
Great topic and beautifully presented Izzetl.
We may think we know what will make us happy, but we really don’t. We continuously imagine ourselves needing “this and that” to achieve what we call success and will ensure happiness, only to realize it does not.
No other country that I know of has “the pursuit of happiness” written into the “bill of right”, but it seems most of them are happier than the Americans who expect happiness as a birth right. The exaggerated tendency to compete, to get ahead, to keep up with the Jones is far from getting us closer to the point where we can feel relaxed and content.
The emphasis on “to have” rather than “to be” is the root of unhappiness as far as I can tell and many other societies have accomplished "happiness" with less possessions and more wisdom
Happiness is subjective and probably personal.
I feel happiness cannot be forced. I think if you surround yourself with people who you love and get out and do things, happiness will come. It is always easier to see happiness in the rear view mirror of life. Sometimes we take it for granted until we look back.
Thank you for sharing this hub on an important topic: Happiness!!
There is definitely happiness and laughter in this world . It may be a little harder than usual to find at times butm it is there.
I am a big believer in 'laughter is the best medicine.'
Take care izettl.
"Don't try to be happy, just be' - you've summed it up so well there! It's sad to think that so few people are content with the now - it's always about tomorrow being a better day! Great and insightful hub, thank you!
kathryn1000~ that's wise advice from the Beatles. I love that song.
SilentReed~ I focus on contentment. Whenever I've gotten a big sum of money for something, I get torn in different directions, thinking I need this or that, and it usually takes me a day or two of this rush to slow down and realize I felt better before the money so I pretend not to have it. My family went through a rough time when I lost my job because my husband and I had the same income so our budget was cut in half. I had tons of fun just staying home with my daughter and being creative coming up with projects to do and being content.
authorfriendly~ I'll check out your link. Thanks for comment.
David Stone~ I know you know this subgject and you said it best when you say "we want experiences that engage us".
breakfastpop~ great advice too.
Petra Vlah~ you bring up great points about the Americans ideation of the "right" to pursue happiness. I've always been a rebel of sorts about keeping up with the JOnes'. My husband falls into that trap all the time. I know every time he says I want a new car, it means one of his friends got one. I agree, less posessions and more wisdom is a much better deal.
dahoglund~ this is exactly why I don't understand how so much research can go into something that is personal and constantly changing even for every individual. It's like chasing a tricky Leprechaun.
ghomefitness~ two of the ingredients you listed are exactly right: loved ones and doing something. Activity engages a person and releases feel good seratonin.
Izettl, I’ve enjoyed your positive views about happiness, and the quotes are indeed true. Voted UP and UP!
Great hub, I wake up every morning happy that I made it to see another day, then I have coffee and walk out to the back yard and just take in all the sights and sounds and that makes me happy. It's very true that the saddest things usually end in happiness. Just so you don't think I'm getting too serious John Lennon said "Happiness is a Warm Gun" bang bang shoot shoot! Nice work, Peace!! Tom
Creative, interesting approach to a universal topic. Everybody wants to be happy and not everybody knows how. Thank you for sharing your ideas!
To determine if one is "happy," or not, one must define what happy is: happiness as an extra helping of cheesecake!
Family: It seems that we might be flat broke and deathly ill, but a loving family will make us happy just the same.
This is a good hub and you make many points that people miss all the time. The American way is not the way to happiness and we need to rethink what happiness really means.
Hey Izzy, although I wrote a hub on it, I think happiness is overrated. I think a deep, overwhelming joy is preferable and inside all of us we know how to get it. What gives me joy may not do it for you and vice versa, but as we center ourselves everyday in the things we love, joy comes.
Don't be too hard on the photographers, they give a lot of joy to those of us too busy playing to preserve the moment. Thanks for a fun hub. =:)
Good topic, better then your last HUB I feeland I am with Rev that within each of us is where the anser is. As a person with a passion for personal development I have noticed many of those 4000 books ... I think since so many seem to be chasing their tales so to speak these books have come to print.
Part may be too since happiness like love and other things isn't really messurable and is different for everyone that the search for it remains and as we grow as shown in the studies having older people happier some how we tend to learn as we grow.
Thanks for the doing the researcha nd sharing .. what you working on now for us to enjoy?
~Expect Miracles
Great read Laura, as usual. I would like to try out that lottery winner theory some day. If and when I do I will give you a full report on if it made me any happier. I'm not sure I would notice much difference because I am pretty happy now.
Thanks for the write and keep up the good work.
Old poolman~ If the lottery money doesn't make you any happier you can pass it on to me. But if you're happy now then you'd be rich AND happy if you won the lotto.
martie~ thank you. good to see you.
justom~ yeah don't go getting too serious especially in a happiness hub.
guru-c~ thanks for the comment.
dallas93444~ yes, cheescake is happiness. I'd be 1,000 pounds if I were happy all the time-lol.
DevinCo~ great point. Americans and the American way is not a good model of happiness.
winsome~ joy and contentment are good and as someone commented above, being engaged in something is wonderful too. I have no beef on photographers, but I'm referring to parents at every function taking the perfect pics to post on their fb page to one-up the Jones'. The point of these fun activities is to interact with your kids and I've definitely noticed a huge rise in parents attached to their cameras on physical outings since the popularity of fb. I understand pics at dance recidals and school plays. And I notice the difference with professional and hobby photographers too. But we have friends who used to participate in outings with our kids and now all they do is take pics and eagerly put them on fb. Sometimes my husband and I decline going anywhere with them because we stuck doing all the "work" while they get the perfect pic.
Shane B~ you are right about the books chasing their tales. The question is what are you working on for us? I love our discusisons. Thanks Shane!
This is a provocative piece of writing, izettl - thanks for putting it together so well. If you ask ten different people to define happiness or what makes them happy, you will probably get ten different answers.
Happiness, to me, comes from within. It is an attitude that includes optimism and positivism and the expectation of being happy.
And as someone commented, laughter and humor will go far to provide it.
Beautiful, educative, and for me - touching Hub.
Life is all - good and bad, it is just not possible to be all the time happy and positive (especially when sorrunded by many people who all the time complain about something, LOL. Depression is not disease of Americans only.). If people would stop to compete so much and more try to relax and sleep (!) contentment would start to occur more naturally.
Thank you Laura.
drbj~ nice to see you. You hubs make me happy!
tatjana~ stop competing and sleep. That sounds perfect! Great advice and so true. Happiness and contentmet are things that should occur naturally. Your made another good point. We don't need to chase it, we just need to recognize it. Glad you enjoyed the hub- that means a lot to me.
All the happiness come from our heart, we don't need to buy this. Just get the happiness naturally. This is a part of God creation, I believe that happiness as a gift. Very inspiring hub. We still surrounded by the people who love us, including our family. This is one of the biggest happiness in our life. All the pictures make me laugh, I am happy with this hub. Good work, my friend. Vote and vote again.
Prasetio
Funny you ask about what I am working on .. smiles .. was noticing you are reaching a momentis HUB of 100 soon and was going to ask what your plans for it are .. grin. Myself been building a website all week so haven't thought of a HUB so thanks for sparking something or for the push how ever you choose to see it .. smiles.
Also I am with you on the picture takers just to keep up with the Joneses .. don't feel it is a FB influence .. but do feel like you about them doing it and not being a part of the action ... You will be hard pressed to find a pic of my kids online I don't do that even though as you know I am all over the web. There is quite a difference in capturing the moment and in wanting to show off huh
~Expect Miracles
I've learned that happiness isn't something outside myself. It lives between my two ears. For the most part, it manifests in proportion to how I choose to live my life and perceive my experiences.
Your right izettl and i can clearly see why adults are happier than kids cuz kids really dont have that much control over their lives when you really think about it
For me, happiness is knowing that what I've said,and done and thought has been thrown into the sea of God's forgetfulness! NEW SLATE! White as snow! You are right on about happiness being found in doing not having. My best memories are never about what I had, rather what I did. I like this hub! I like you! I'm a happy guy!
prasetio30~ thanks for the vote up and encouraging words.
Shane~ Hope I can spark something. I always enjoy what you come up with. I like pictures, but hurry up and pose ones, then let's go have fun. I don't get in the moment with my daughter if I'm busy trying to take the perfect pic. I'm working on a couple of hubs, but I have a cold and have just been reading hubs. Thanks for your smiles.
infinityval~ you are very right on!
mathsucks503~ good point.
fred allen~ always nice to see you. We could all use a new slate- thank God. We always remember what we do, not have/had. Glad to contribute to your happiness.
I like the iddea that receiving does not always guarantee happiness, but the idea that giving can in fact make you happier! Thanks for this article! Its refreshing!
Great hub! I agree - I'm a proponent of doing, rather than having, as you mentioned. Life is about experiences, not amassing possessions. Somehow people forgot this along the way though.
Great hub! At mid-life, my husband and I define happiness much differently than we used to.
I believe that if we just stop for a moment, we can find joy/happiness in the smallest spaces in our lives. Great hub!
Priscilla_Bee~ Thank you for the nice comment.
Ironracer~ I've always been that way too. I remember experiences with more clarity and fondness than things I've had. Thanks for the comment.
Miller's Fitness~ Happiness is not one size fits all and you mention a perfect example of that.
stephhicks68~ You summed it up for me. That is totally my point is if we stop searching and just recognize it right now or in any moment, happiness is attainable. Thanks for the visit Steph!
I think happiness is more deliberate than what we think. It isn't something that just happens to us and isn't necessarily attached to circumstance.
Interesting facts in your article.
I think too many people either search too hard for happiness or depend on someone else for their happiness. Once you relax and depend on yourself for your happiness I believe it somes.
Great hub. Rated up and awesome.
Enjoyed your article very much Laura! It did give a piece of happiness. Actually quite a bit. Is it not true that when you find some body expressing thoughts and ideas similar to what you think and know that many must be like you-you do feel happy.
I feel happiness is after all always with us. It is sort of eternal and everywhere. Problem is more with us, when we are not happy. We get so busy in all other aspects that we stop feeling it even when it is with us. But then sometimes suddenly a spark occurs you feel brightness every where, lighted with happiness. Some times this spark lights up years later "Oh! that moment I was so happy, though it did not look like that then"
No wonder one feels happiness often even in sad moments as you also observed.
tamarajo~ I think the recognition of happiness when and with whom it occurs is dilibertae. I don't believe someone can go search for happiness because often it's not what we think it is. We get a small happy buzz from purchasing something new, and we get confused that it made us happy so we keep trying to get that same feeling and that feeling wasn't even happiness to begin with. Thanks for the comment.
KOffeeKlatch~ Excellent point about depending on others for their happiness. Thanks for the comment.
soumyasrajan~ We definitely fail to recognize happiness and i think that's due to thinking we have to search and find it, not let it find us in various moments and let th source of happiness change with our situations and life.
Great hub. Hapiness comes from within, not without. Our society is very mixed up. By the grace of God go I. Nice job.
Thanks Healing Touch!
Very good points, as a parent I once stressed myself out so much so making certain to take a picture of this and that videoing everything and one day noticed I was never in the pictures, I stopped dead in my tracks and began to have fun being involved. Love and Peace :)
KatieM2~ Ha! That's funny same thing happened to me. I realized I was the one taking pics and not joining in. I looked around me and noticed many other parents doing the same and realized I was them and I didn't want to be. Thanks for the comment.
Nobody should have to tell us what happiness is. But I can tell you, without sadness, we would not know how to appreciate happiness. People try to be chronically happy all the time and don't know happiness if it bit them in the behind. Great hub!
Nobody should have to tell us what happiness is. But I can tell you, without sadness
THanks for the comment Char M!
Great Hub! Happiness is a state of mind and Heart!! Happiness is not a hard thing to have --- we just make it hard! Your Hub brought out so many good things!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
marymac47~ right you are! thanks for sharing too.
I will say that after adversity, you sure do appreciate the good things in life a lot more!
Katewest~ so true. After adversity, anything good is like a breath of fresh air. I've been there done that.
indigored 19 months ago
My personal opinion is people who chase around happiness just look silly.
I like that.