Men With Money

My first piece of advice...DON"T! There are a few types of men with money and not all are equal even if their bank accounts add up to the same amount. And speaking of money, if I had a nickel for every time I heard a girl or woman say they'll marry a man with money, I'd be rich!

It's amazing how many young women answer every one of life's questions with "I'll just marry someone rich". Simple as that and all of life's problems are fixed. Questions like what will you do after school? or What if you can't find a job? Solved!

I bring up this topic because my friend's daughter is turning 18 and hasn't thought about her future yet...probably pretty typical at that age. Her mom was trying to show her how to fold clothes and she said she didn't need to learn. WHY? Because she was going to marry someone rich. Which reminded me of a friend in college who was only going to college to be smart enough to meet and talk to a man with money. What's the allure of a man with money?

Being who I am, I had a little story with some words of wisdom for my friend's daughter...I told her about a guy I was friends with in high school who was the richest kid at our school. I was ONLY friends with him- never was romantically involved...never wanted to be and mostly because of his money. My friends in high school said I should marry him and I'd be set. But I was determined to be independent and make my own money, not someone else's, and that included my own parents. I had two jobs in high school. My rich friend had none. He lived off his parent's money.

I didn't hate him or envy him, I actually pitied him. He looked bored most of the time. He could do almost whatever he wanted when he wanted so nothing thrilled him. And his allure to me...was that his money didn't thrill me either.

A couple of years out of high school, he got in an argument with his parents and it was bad enough that they cut him off. He also got a girl pregnant too. So there he was- no job, no experience for a job, no parent's money, and a baby on the way. I'm still friends with him and he went on to be a roadside tree trimmer...not making any more money than the average American. The lesson of course is money can literally disappear overnight. The stock market crashes, a recession, the "dot com" collapse, health issues. All this can lead to debt and bankruptcies. Money is not an answer and nothing is guaranteed.

Men tend to rate their self-worth based on their paycheck. Looks are a valuable asset in a woman just as money is a valuable asset in a man. Since primal times, women who were attractive were more likely to be sought by men and start a family (reproduce) amd men who were more stable were more likely to be able to keep that family (survival).

Here's where it gets screwed up. Instinctively women have always been attracted to a man with stability. In caveman days this was a strong man, a hero type. When women have kids, we need a partner. We tend to the home and children, they hunt and get dirty. In our world today, things are upside down.

In those days of the cave it was best to have a strong strapping beefy man who could fight a tiger and hunt for buffalo...or something like that. But now, that's led to women being attracted to all the wrong men- using some men for money and seeking bad boys who have all the hero characteristics but not much money in their pocket No longer is the beefy stud the most stable. Today the geeky nerd is likely more stable with more money.

And some women are about the money...I have a strong opinion about them so I guess I'll share it. I think they are similar to prostitutes or someone who would sell their soul to the devil. I once had a man with money proposition me. He told me I was the girl he wanted to marry and have his children. The catch- he wanted women on the side for his other pleasures in life. In my experience, and knowing other women who've shared their experiences- there is always a catch to a man with money (and selling your soul to the devil) and the women who seek only men with money are open to all of those "catches".

The control factor is a turn-off about men with money. Many of them believe people are controlled by money- people are puppets and everyone has a price for the almighty dollar. For the most part, wealthy men are right. People will do their bidding for money.

I know women who've married wealthy and believed, at the time, they won the lottery. Later they were the ones who had been abused, divorced and/or worse off than they were before. They were controlled and bought. They were made meek and subservient, broke and broken down. When you put a price on yourself, you may gain money, but lose self-worth.

My experience with wealthy men...didn't usually make it past the first date. My experience without rich men in my life...priceless. I have wisdom, good friends, lessons learned, my own identity, freedom.

Studies have revealed income and cheating are linked, but here's the deal- men who had little to no income and depended on someone else, like their female partner were more likely to cheat AND men who made far more money than their partner were also very likely to cheat.

I believe a man with money does not have limitations, including cheating on their partner. When you have money, you have less restrictions and more access, including ways to make a mess and clean it up. Famous people are infamously known for getting in trouble- drugs, prostitution, dog fighting, etc. More recently... Whitney Houston who had her underage daughter drinking alcohol in a club.

Why are so many people controlled by money? It started with slavery. The idea that people were bought is no different than some of peoples' ideas about how money rules the world now. We still have the notion that people can be bought...and it's true for the most part. Men bellieve women can be bought because of the oldest known profession of course...prostitution.

Things you should know about men with money:

• Some have money because they are good at saving it, but these people are usually extra cautious about someone taking it
• They expect to get their way and can throw man tantrums when they don't
• Money usually substitutes for a good personality
• Their experiences and stories of their life are often superficial- "I've been here, I've been there". "I have this, I have that"
• They expect money to impress you
• You will never be privy to their finances, even when married to them.
• They are more thrilled by things money can't buy- like manipulating people or crime or other troublesome things
• They often believe they are above the law
• Money will always be the most important thing- #1 to them
• If it's family money, they are often at the bidding and forever enslaved to their parents (or family member who has the money
• If it's money worked for, they can be workaholics
• Not all rich men are bad. Some are philanthropic, many share without expectations, some don't flaunt it
• They can lose the money as quick as they got it.

I love the studies done on lottery winners because it makes me feel better about not winning the lottery in the two times I've ever bought a ticket. Yes, I know the odds are against me, buying a ticket every 15 years, but the good news is I can still be happy if I never win.

Research supports that lottery winners are no happier than the average person (some cases less happy) within just three months of winning the money. Also it's been determined if the person who won the lottery was not happy before winning then they will likely not be happy after winning either. But if they were happy before then they are more likely to be happy afterwards. Does money buy happiness? I think not.

Yes, money changes a person. I've seen it in my own life. The more money I have, the more I worry about losing it. I set myself up in a lifestyle that makes me worry about losing that lifestyle. I've seen it in many people- same thing. Americans fear losing money when they have it and fear appearing as if they don't have much money when they don't have it. America is in debt for those reasons...but that's another topic.