How to Read Minds
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The business of reading minds
What if I told you nearly everyone has the ability to read minds? It's true actually and research is starting to back it up. But before I go there, let's take a trip back to 1936 when a book written by Dale Carnegie was originally published, titled "How to Win Friends and Influence People". This book was a huge success and still is. It's one of the classics and continues to be relevant over the course of several decades thus far.
I had the chance to read the book and it was riveting from start to finish...seriously. It is basically the art of dealing with people which never goes out of style. Who doesn't deal with people everyday? That's why so many of us are intrigued with the possibility of influencing others or getting a peak into their minds. We'll take any little piece of inside info that will give us the edge.
This book was written for and about those who wanted that edge in business. The advice within the pages certainly applies to a lot of other types of relationships and people in general. I write a business blog for a company and I just finished a blog about knowing people and human nature. It gives you the greatest advantage and often we lose sight of that.
If reading minds sounds elusive or impossible and only for those born with a psychic gift (have you visited a psychic..they're not working off a gift trust me) then you're completely wrong. It is learning about human nature and people...simple. The book I mentioned was such a success because it nailed the art of people. If you follow his rules and advice in that book, people do exactly what you want and they will be putty in your hands. But there's more...
A little more about the book
The science of reading minds
I keep up with the psychology journals and any interesting studies that have been published. My area of focus while in school and assisting with research was reading, reviewing, and finding flaws in studies. Some things are a far stretch to the imagination and other things begin to pave the way to the answers we've been searching for.
In psychology everything can be studied and often is. There are topics, such as the reading minds, that are difficult to study but can be developed through finding other avenues related to it that are easier to study and get a firm grasp on. Once you begin doing this, eventually the pieces fall into place.
So let's begin here with some science. Interesting research has revealed that people who read a lot of fiction books are more empathetic and have the ability to get in to the mind of others. Why? Because they get into the mind of the character in a book, they get engrossed in the book and determine what they would do versus what the character would do in certain circumstances. The ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes (empathy) is a key to reading minds. Bet you never thought about that. Psychologists call this empathic accuracy.
Everyday mind-reading
The Internet has made reading body language obsolete and this is why understanding human nature in general is crucial. With all the avenues in which people utilize the Internet (dating, business, social networking) there is still a concrete way to read what's going on in another's mind...or pretty damn close. Understand human nature and people!!
For instance, an old married couple knows what the other is thinking remarkably often because they've been practicing it for a while. Mind-reading requires practice and effort. A psychic gets to know who you are and into your mind pretty fast. They have an extensive history working with people- it's their livelihood.
When I look back at my career working with people in the restaurant business, I realized I knew what type of food or menu item and why someone ordered it just based on a brief conversational greeting. There is a term in the restaurant biz called "reading a table" and it's not much different than reading minds. Another everyday occurrence is when a mother knows exactly what her baby wants by the types of cries. She instinctively gets to know what her baby needs and the baby's life depends on it.
Psychology Today magazine reported "Mind-reading of this sort is not to be confused with the infallible superhero kind of telepathy, it is a critical human skill. It's the way we make sense of other people's behavior and decide on our own next moves. Mind-reading ability is perhaps the most urgent element of social intelligence" (and yet many people suck at it- well that's my two cents). But there everyone has the ability to do it and like I said before it is a worthwhile investment of knowledge.
The direction I see society headed is less people who have empathy for others and more TV or tech gadgets rather than book-reading and engaging with or being in tune with people around us. The study I mentioned earlier reports that TV does nothing for developing empathy because it doesn't allow us to dive into another's thoughts and have to figure some things out or leave some things to the imagination. Only books can do this and more so with fiction books.
The future of reading minds
Computers are not far from scanning minds and having the ability to read minds. Neuroscience has shown us how basic human thoughts work. To me, this is just another example of how predictable human nature and people are. The distinct advantage of applying techniques and really working at understanding people and human nature is that this information will never be outdated. You learn it now and it applies to your life and people for the rest of your life....guaranteed. Nobody will come up with a new type of human nature- society and technology changes, but surprisingly people don't change all that much.
An interesting dilemma is as much desire as we have to know what others are thinking is about how much desire we have for others to not what we're personally thinking. If the ability to read minds through computer science is reliably developed then businesses, and who knows, will be paying to read your minds. In addition, criminals will be just as guilty via computer mind-reading scanners as they are today with DNA tests. We could easily say there is a future to reading minds.
And finally...HOW TO READ MINDS
Now everyone can be a street corner psychic. Joking aside there is some ways to develop a sense of mind-reading:
- Be in tune with yourself and listen to your instincts (side note: it has been said that we're the only species that feels fear and walks right into it- animals don't do this). When we gauge how we're feeling with another person or around them, we learn about what they're thinking, but this also takes knowing ourselves well.
- Mirror image. We tend to copy others without knowing it while we're around them. If they feel tense, we do too. If they fidget, we do as well. If they talk slower, we slow down too. Be aware of this while in conversations.
- Read more fiction books. Yes, it really is true that reading fiction makes you more empathetic and enables you too get inside another's mind- research is good on this.
- Body language. Tried and true, this knowledge is good to have. There are guides to this, some include reading the pupils of the eyes, facial expressions, sweating, etc. These involuntary body movements are a key factor in lie detector tests.
- Motivation. Women have been viewed at being better interpreters of feelings and thoughts, and be able to anticipate others' needs. The science reveals they have no extra advantage other than more motivation to do so.
- Open-mindedness. Along with being empathetic is the ability to see from others' viewpoint and not from the typical egocentric view we hold so dear.
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Yes you are right, Reading minds is done by pupil dilation interpretation and facial analysis techniques. There are also some interesting ways of doing it over the internet such as game theory. Nice article though
Voted up. Excellent article, based on experience and good research/reading. Yes, we are all mind-readers. Women have practiced mind-reading historically in order to survive domination by husbands and a patriarchal culture. You can also read people on an emotional scale. For example, someone fearful will not look right at you but their eyes dart around scanning for danger.
Excellent article and all true based on my experience. Interesting fact: The only other form of life on Earth that seems to be able to read our minds in much the same way that we read each others minds... is the dog... however, the dog is not able to (or just isn't as interested in)reading each others minds. Meanwhile.. people who spend a lot of time with animals start to be able to read their minds as well.
Hi Izetti; Very interesting and informative, as always. I think reading and understanding other people is all about looking for the "tells' or the clues they unwittingly display. Psychologists, some detectives and other experts can tell what you're thinking just by looking at you. As far as computers go, I guess it's just a matter of interpreting the usage of words. My ex-shrink helped me sort out the rambling messages that a stalker ex-girlfriend sent me.
There are varius ways of getting into someone's head. For businessmen, its a matter of understanding people's motivatipons and predicting how they will act.
Very well done,
Rob
Hi Izettl, The "mirror image" concept leads me to wonder about the leader vs followers in society. The weaker of the two would be the chameleon, more apt to mimic the leader. Both parties know their status, kind of like the "alpha dog" concept. Although the alpha dog feels he is superior, I would imagine he is less "intuitive", as he wouldn't be motivated to develop the ability to win friends and influence people. Do you agree? In some ways, it seems a little sad to buy a book that has to outline winning friends and influencing people, when genuine caring would suffice. I guess that means that the "psychics" really aren't magic!!! Great topic and as always, well-written, provocative reading.
Well researcheed, and combined with your personal experience, this is the complete hub in my opinion Laura. I'll bet you I could read your mind if I were in the same room with you. One of these days maybe you'll see kiddo!
jim
ummmm .. I think I'm busted. No, I know I'm busted. Yeah, there's something, but I didn't realize I was being obvious. (frowning and scratching my head) In any case, generic sucks and you deserve better from me.
On the mind reading thing; I can't tell you exactly what you're thinking, but I can nail the subject. The body language thing is something I've made a living at. I've never considered why or what I do that makes me perceptive, and this piece causes me to think. To be honest, some of what you said is still sinking in kiddo.
We'll talk one of these days, but shoot, you know how I am. (an overly sensitive baby) I'm cool now you've busted me though. :/
The occupy movement makes me sick. A protest is an awlful thing to waste. Thousands of dizzos looking for a leader and something to sink there teeth into, and I'm sitting here. I'm working on a presentation putting the whole Housefire Project program together for groups. I wish it were together now. I AM considering going up there with a few folks and setting up one of my PA's without the material, and just take that thing over. I'd have the media covering my every word and following me to the bathroom to see how I take a crap. Hell of an oppertunity to take advantage of the situation, and get these poor bastards fired up and aiming at something solid. There's a situation, and if I can over come it quickly enough, I'm going to head up there. I'll give you a heads up if I do. Then watch the news. I'm looking good again. Muscle up, fat down, and I'll never take even a week off from working out again. Never. You know how that freaked me out seeing my self on the tube doing that stupid Iowa thing.
This IS a good hub sis. I just have to digest it a little more. Remember, I'm not as bright as you!
jim
Here's my take on the reading material, Izettl. The ones that buy it are the ones who could have written it. They already know the basic truth about caring. They know that true connection and genuine caring links one to another and opens the door to understanding each other.
What I've seen in our potential leaders of tomorrow is game-playing. What I've seen is a display of inauthentic, disingenuous disconnection born of habitual lying and a "me, me, me" attitude. They never got over the fantasy of the typical, two-year old mentality of being the center of the universe. We have become a nation of "haves" and "have nots".
I got a call today from a pharmaceutical manufacturer that I had to contact regarding the $600/month medication I can no longer afford due to my protracted unemployed status. They have an online form to apply for free medication for patients that are unable to pay. I filled out the forms and sent them to my doctor to complete for submission. The woman that contacted me today had an attitude that suggested the length of my unemployment was my fault. Just because she has remained employed has no relevance to my circumstances. I tried to explain the difficulty for anyone over 50 in securing a new job in today's economy. I realized I should save my breath, as she's already made up her mind. The fact is I can't pay $600/month for meds now. She's just a "flunky" who has no bearing on any decision regarding my application and was calling to get an updated unemployment statement of my income. Yet, I couldn't help but notice the disconnection. The drug company's are in the 1% and have the 99% bound.
The "Occupy" movement is happening as a result of what has happened TO us, not a consequence of being lazy, stupid or unmotivated to "shuffle out of our slippers" and go to work. Those that are "mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore" are tired of hiding, feeling guilty and ashamed. Many of the rich and powerful got there through unsavory means. The problem is they see things through their own modus operandi. I don't want handouts or their wallets. I want what I've worked all my life doing...the ability to earn my way. Many of them got where they are by stepping over or on the middle class. Those that might benefit from "How To Win Friends and Influence People" don't care how many people they kick to the curb to get what they want. They can buy the friends they need and have no motivation for reading any "how to" books.
Great article, I have to read up on this - a very interesting topic. Thanks for the info! Voted UP!
Laura,
As I said, a good protest is an awlful thing to waste, and this one is going to waste. First, they're protesting Wall Street, and the thing that's wrong with Wall Street is tthe result of a problem, not the cause. They need to go to the source .. the U.S. Government. I'll be happy to take them there. Even if they were organized, which they're not, they'd be swinging at shadows. For as much as this costs the tax payers, the biggest gain is the revenue they generate for the media. That'll bleed off shortly because there's little to report on besides the rapes, street urination, and so on. Maybe I WILL write a blog on this. I love a protest as much as I love apple pie, and I'm watching a perfectly good piece of pie laying on the ground being consumed by ants. If I write a blog, you'll probably see that line in it as I just realized it's pretty good. (shifty grin) I gotta get down there.
I was interested in point about reading fiction helping you to develop empathy...
"Inspiring others is a critical leadership skill — one that depends on the ability to empathize with the people you want to lead."
This is from:
http://www.chacocanyon.com/pointlookout/060104.sht
Found that in just a fast web search. Interesting. Thought provoking as usual iz...
The main purpose of the Occupy movement is to create a national discourse. The point is to get people taking about the problem and to keep them talking about it. No one was talking about income disparity and the One percent until the Occupy movement started. The focus before now was on Republican vs. Democrat and which party is to blame. That's the wrong argument. The occupy people have cut to the heart of the argument by saying both are to blame because of the powerful influence that Wall Street and the top 1% holds over government. The people opposing the movement would like it to just go away so people will stop thinking about this problem and stop talking about it. But if no one talks about it, nothing will get done. (Think of it like a bad marriage where no one talks about their problems and they fester until it all explodes. Talking about it is the only way to reach a solution.)
I've talked with the protesters and marched with them, so don't let Fox news and other bias media fool you...There aren't drug addicts, rapists, or crazy hippies. These are concerned college graduates who can't get a job or pay off their sky-high tutition debt.
So in essence, the purpose of Occupy is get get people talking and so far its working.
Rob
No comment...lol...
Hopefully the Occupy Movement will lead to peaceful power and creative solutions that bypass the red-tape and thousand page documents we get from our gov. We don't have to read minds to know what is happening, thanks to the direct reports of people like Robwrite who have been out on the street with the rest. I pray they keep it peaceful and creative. Violent revolutions only replace a bad gov with a worse one. Witness the French Revolution. Izettl, I hope you don't mind our getting off the topic of reading minds. Occupy is bound to come into any discussion these days.
Izetti... I absolutely love this hub... you are so funny... and I am interested in "The science reveals they have no extra advantage other than more motivation to do so"... lets talk about that...very nice indeed...more motivation to do what....lol... I love that... she will take over the world while we all watch... that intuition would actually play a big part in advancement within a society, a natural leaning toward favoring woman as the more desirable emotional type, rather than man... a woman's intuition becoming the gold standard of behavioral patterns...yeaaaaaaa... taking over in broad daylight, in full view of everyone... just by changing the rules of the game... woman the greatest mind reader of all God's creations..... she has had intuition for as long as she has been on earth, now she simply changed the rules for every child in the world, think about it....to hear your mom tell you that it is no longer desirable to be angry and violent has birthed where we are today as a society.... strange comment but to me this hub is saying we have grown to the point that those who can read others minds the best... achieve more... Izetti... I like this hub best... so unique...
Lapse I loved the thing on "Empathy" very cool... I love this statement..."Inspiring others is a critical leadership skill — one that depends on the ability to empathize with the people you want to lead."... the most important thing about relationships is... appreciating the relationship, in it's uniqueness, and it's diversity, in his weaknesses and in it's strength... to love one another as we love ourselves... which would be a forgiving person because we are always having to forgive ourselves right...lol... I'm in on this one... I like the idea so reading the house... musicians talk about it all the time... and if one practices enough, one can move the room to whether you want or go where they are and explore both places...lol... it resembles love...
This was very interesting. I am a firm believer in positive thinking and the power of the mind. I have read that book How to Win Friends and Influence People years ago. It's one of my favorites. Another good one is Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.
Jeanine, I like you comment about relationships and your quip about forgiveness. Zzron, I have read Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. Very inspiring.
J-
Why is "she" taking over? she is a more desirable emotional type? Why a gold standard? All that infers one is above the other. Why does being different have to mean being better? Different is just different, no? Each person is judged based on their own abilities/actions/achievements. The rules change everyday. They evolve. ...if one chooses to follow them.
But I don't think that people who better read minds necessarily achieve more. I see the mind reading as just another tool to add to the tool box. And if you're good at it then more power to you. Gender is irrelevant.
I agree... judgement calls for a gold standard... and I like your idea better... I'm not married to the idea that women will take over because they are different... I think thye take over because they are unique... and I guess it's that way because better is usually different... so if one notices different things for a living say... like Steve Jobs or musicians, artist anyone that appeals to a large part of the population... for business or for art... would make one different right... I said oh I feel so different, she said different is unique, unique is special, and special is one of a kind, one of a kind is priceless... understand... I love that idea of reading the house is a tool... I believe that...and the knowledge that we can all possess the ability to move the house is an amazing gift to us all... I don't see how you can say that really... men have so much more opportunity in this country... and you may not see that, and that's alright but that doesn't mean it's not happening ... I mean just because we wish it... you know what I mean... I'm not bitter just aware... and that's all I was saying... I am smitten with the character that Izettl has created ... so I was expounding more than making a statement... you know like when you are at a party and all the girls just have to dance... so I was just laughing and having a good time... but I will vote for this talented girl as a very good writer... back to the question... I just see it differently than you... and hey like you just said... I don't have to win to be alright with you and with me... it's serious for me but then it's comical on the other hand... and lastly because I am such a big fan of Izzetti, I think yep she is the more desirable emotional type... lol...lol... but hey I know you like to dance right... what's that tune... girls just want ta hav fu un... oh girls just want to have....lol...lol... have you have a great night... read my mind... read my mine.... read my...lolo...lol...lol...
jeanine you "see it differently" than a lot of people. :-) That's why we love ya.
I just think all the lines between the sexes are blurring. If you look out far enough it seems to me we're on a track to be at a place where there is even overlap with with the sexes. With transsexuals just being the far left end of the spectrum and everyone is spread out some distance to the right of that. I wonder if we don't have that much further to go for near perfect equality. Just one or two generations? Surely no more than 3 or 4. The more urbanized and educated the more equal things will be and we're moving that way.
I agree with both of you... Lapse it is blurring, you and I are living proof, the conversation is education... we are both at different ends yet respectful of each others opinion... I think we all must make peace with ourselves... I can never be like you, nor you like me... I want that uniqueness in the world and obviously God wanted it to be this way or we wouldn't all be so damn creative...lol...lol right... and you're so right I do see it differently... and realize it's probably my own psychosis that makes me believe my life is important... but then... I do... and izetti... you are right we are a tribe that adopted your ways... and that's what we did for thousands of years... we led male into female and female into male... we are the sign as well as the teachers in his case... a guide so to speak... to lead you to one another... it's why two spirits are here on earth... to see the beauty in both feminine and masculine is how you move this ship along...lol...both you and Lapse are perfect examples of understanding that we are changing, even as we speak... men are more and more like women and women are more and more like men... the two spirit or trans as you call us is a tribe here to simply tell you.... that you are alright thinking those thoughts... enjoy the change... I disagree about trans being far left... it's more middle for me and their are much more severe things to the left...to wierd to even write down... so there in lies the challenge... that we will all learn to love one another is really a possible goal... we just have to talk about how to get it done...lol...lol..
This is really interesting. I have always been able to pick up the thoughts of others on occasion. It's not something I understand but I've lost track of the number of people that have said to me, "How on earth did you know that?
Some 18 years ago, I used Hypno Peripheral Processing and after six months of using them, I woke up one morning and went to work. I started picking up everybody's thoughts. It frightened the living daylights out of me, and I stopped using the tapes and never ever used them again.
The tapes slow down the brain and I think what is happening is that when the brain goes into theta, it is more sensitive to other people's thoughts.
Why would you stop then? Wouldn't that be a good thing?
Lapse. If one is confident, I suppose. But I had been a scape goat for the world my entire life, so I thought it was terribly, terribly wrong. I spent my entire life giving every bit of ounce and material possessions away...
izetti you write such interesting hubs which spark off such fascinating comments. From watching Cesar Millan the dog whisper it seems that dogs operate almost entirely using this ability. It doesn't matter if the person does all the right things and says the right words if the person is not in that calm state the dog will react to what ever state that person is in. If the person is nervous no matter what the person says or does the dog is nervous.
Time after time we see Cesar Millan identify the dogs problem by reading the owner, as the dog is like a mirror that just mirrors the emotional state of its owner ie nervous fearful etc.
As always a thoughtful and thought provoking Hub



















Muhammad Adrish 6 months ago
Nice....*