How to Please a Woman; From Dating to Doing it!
74
Many men fall into two categories; ones who know everything there is to know about women and others who throw up their hands and say 'beats me, I know nothing'! Maybe you're older and know them well enough by now, or perhaps your credentials include an impressive number of women you've slept with. But don't forget women are 90% brain and 10% sex organ- basically our brain is our sex organ. So if you think you know women because you've slept with a lot, you really only know 10% of a woman- not that impressive.
If you think you know women because you've been with a woman for many years and you know her inside and out, you may be surprised. Women change with each change of their life, they change more often than men do. You should know that just by how many times they change clothes a day. When she becomes a mother her needs change, when she works she changes, hormones change over time...you get the point. It may be hard to imagine, but do you really know her at all anymore?
I want to start from dating to maintaining a relationship to sex. I'm covering a lot of ground here and we both know going in that men and women are hopelessly different creatures, but this is why my simple guide can't possibly hurt you. What are my credentials? I am a woman, I've listened to many women about their issues, I've been to marriage counseling, I've dated several men, and I have a psychology background with many courses featuring human sexuality. And yet I realize having a woman tell you what to do sounds vaguely familiar to your mom, but put the past to rest and believe me...I am not your mom!
Dating
Remember courting? If I had it my way, we'd forget about the new modern ways of dating and return to the days of courting. When a man walked a woman home, got to know her family as well as her, and took a drive in the country...without a romp in the backseat.
We've gone from chivalrous gestures, a kiss of the hand, to "winks" and "pokes" on a dating site. Women as well as men are impatient about finding their match now. This could be we're waiting longer than ever to do it so we don't have time to waste. We suddenly realize half of our 30's passed by and we might want to share our life with a significant other, like now!
While courting is almost irrelevant in today's world, it has it's place if used correctly. Do me a favor and watch an old movie, observe how the man approaches the woman and her reaction, and how the relationship proceeds from there. The trick is if you are going to take a slower route in dating a woman, let her know you like her, you just want to get to know her better. Women usually want the deal sealed with a kiss- that is the number one way we can tell if we are into you (it's all in the kiss) so don't wait too long before kissing her.
Don't date above your means. This isn't a status statement or whether she's too good or not good enough for you. This is economics. If you don't have 5-star money, don't take a girl on a date to a 5-star restaurant. She may expect it all the time or it may mislead her about your finances. For some women, finances are important. If you date within your financial means then you can weed out some of the gold diggers or status stalkers. A single rose is just as thoughtful (and less expensive) as a dozen.
Ask her questions. Your genuine interest in her and getting to really know her will be helpful in the bedroom. Trust me on this fellas. It's OK to start with generic questions in the beginning of dating. It's not OK to ask too personal questions in the beginning though. Getting to know her will also help you plan future dates with her, knowing what she likes to do.
Men tend to turn dating into an interview of themselves. They talk about their job, their interests, places they've traveled, everything they should be asking her. She is great at acting interested in you for endless hours, but deep down she is wondering when you will notice her or if you find her interesting at all. It's a tun off.
Put some of your needs aside. If you make the initial dating ritual about her, she will repay you two-fold later. Dating really is for women mostly; we need some kind of connection and men would rather connect physically right away without all the dating rituals.
Women are naturally givers and nurturers so you can pretty much count on her taking care of your needs later, but men have to learn these and practice giving and nurturing a relationship. In marriage, if this give and take isn't practiced, then it later turns into a relationship of one person giving and the other taking or both of you self-serving (both feeling resentful).
Relationships
Be her rock. Women are naturally anxious creatures and why is this? We have peripheral vision, we are psychic, but really we see everything going on around us in the moment and we remember everything from the past to what we forecast (and worry about) in the future. A woman will get stressed inevitably and part of your job is recognizing the signals because today's superwoman won't admit defeat or stress and men have a natural ability to see one task and one thing at a time- use this to calm and comfort her.
I seriously see more women nowadays putting things back together and solving the problems in the family. Men have taken a back seat role to problem solving. The woman is now feeling that she is the one that has to have a back-up plan and put things together when they unravel. It's important to jump in and maintain an active role in this guys, even if she says you've done it wrong. And she will because she's been doing it her way for so long. You must break this pattern. Sooner or later she will relax a little. And deep down inside every woman needs a knight in shining armor or a superhero to the rescue. At the end of the day she needs someone to fall back on.
Respect her differences even if you don't understand them. You may never understand her love of scrapbooking or which dishes are only for decoration, but that will work in your favor. Someday when you actually want her out of your hair or you need to watch your football game, she can entertain herself with her scrapbooking or silly things like that.
If you make yourself the center of her universe, she will ultimately bug you to death. If you are controlling, then she will likely give up her hobbies and the quirks that make her unique. You really don't want her doing that because there will be times you want your space and if she's made you her world, then you will never get that peace.
Keep it going. Dating needs to continue after you've begun a serious relationship or marriage. I know men want to be done with dating because they already "got the girl" (that conquering thing), but relationships need to be kept in your "maintenance" file. She should never be in your outgoing pile. This is the type of work that needs to be kept up on and maintained for as long as you have the job. Some of your basic duties at work are daily or at least consistent, well, think of your woman as that. You need to keep up with them if you want to keep your job and you need to date your woman if you want to get the most out of your relationship.
Written by a man- I love this!
- What It Means to Be A Man by Lynnvalley1
These thoughts have occurred to me with increasing regularity that somewhere along the way we have lost touch with what a man is. I grew up in a generation where both my father and mother seemed to have no difficulty defining this concept when the wo
Arguments
If she's worth fighting for, fight for her! Chase after her. If you've ever seen any romance movie (the ideal world for a woman) you'd know the man always chases her down in the end and humbly professes his love. A woman wants to know a man will fight for her. She wants to see that you want to make things better. If you love your job and were on probation for something at work, you'd do all it took to salvage it.
Actions speak louder than words. If you've said you'll change and you don't, if you've said your sorry but do it again, you've become a man not of your word. In today's society a man is deemed for his qualities on the outside (money, car, appearance). The man of decades ago, was one that was deemed a man by his inner qualities (integrity, responsibility).
A woman will see you in a lesser light if you consistently act against your words. She won't believe in you anymore. I believe (a wild guess) that men want more than anything to be respected, especially by their woman and family. A way to earn respect is being a man of your word. Even your boss would ultimately fire you if you always promised certain work but never delivered or if you gave lame excuses for lack of action.
Whoa! One at a time! Arguments with women tend to turn into a snowball effect (OK an avalanche) of one hundred things at once and it gets very overwhelming. During this time ask her if she could pick one thing at a time to discuss and if that one thing seems small (use good judgement here) then ask her what's really bothering her. Chances are it's one big thing, maybe even unrelated to you, but she needs to vent. Expect and accept that part of being with a woman, involves listening.
Nagging is important! I'm on your side guys. If it seems you hear the same thing over and over, you should just listen, but not to the words coming out of her mouth. Yes, I just said that! The words coming out of her mouth can often feel like she is degrading you or changing you. Listen to what is really going on. She feels hurt because somehow you triggered something in her that reminds her of another time when she was hurt. This isn't your fault, but you can do something about it.
If she is repeating herself, it means she doesn't feel like you heard her the first dozen times. If it's something she'd like you to change or help her with, think about it, come to a compromise; Ask her what 3 things you can do for her, and choose one. As corny as it sounds, a woman and man are meant to compliment each other, help each other where one is strong and the other is weak, and teach each other things.
If all else fails, give her chocolate.
Sex
You know this is a guide to women written by a woman when the category of sex is at the very end. lol. It's good to wait for sex.
Experience isn't everything. My number one pet peeve about men is even a sexually confident woman like myself could give a man a few subtle and sexy hints about how to please me, but they would always revert back to doing things that pleased themselves or doing it their way.
For the longest time, my friends would ask me why I dated younger men when older men were more experienced. My answer was simple; younger men are willing to learn and they're not stuck in their ways yet. If you have been with a woman for a while, she has probably given up showing you how to please her (or perhaps you already do- thumbs up!), but it doesn't hurt to ask her. If you're in a new sexual encounter, listen to her about what pleases...listen good. Ask if she's not letting you know...ask her if this or that pleases her. When things are new between you two, she is more likely to open up about what pleases her sexually.
Being intimate is like crossing the street, Stop, Look, and Listen!
Don't announce or hastily elude to your erection, saying something like "I'm hard baby". Women pretty much know you are turned on at least 2 minutes into a groping session. In the meager amount of time that it takes a man to get an erection, the woman is still ten steps behind.The question is, is she wet? Do your know this and wouldn't you like to know you do that to her, but if you're so focused on your erection and turned-on signals, you're not going to be focused on her arousal.
Start with the woman. Simple math will tell you that if it takes longer for a woman to get aroused than a man, then start with the woman. Begin with her. Sex doesn't begin with your erection- that's not the only signal for fun. The average woman needs 20 minutes to warm up, start with her 20 minutes before yourself.
Watching porn. This is a very mixed topic for me. What is too much, what hurts the relationship, does the woman find it totally offensive. First, never be a closet watcher- yes, you can watch it alone without her, but only if she knows you do watch it in general. Sometimes porn spices up relationships, but other times it ruins them.
Multiple studies show that when a man looks at a very attractive female, he judges an average woman less attractive than if he hadn't seen that prior, gorgeous image of a woman. So porn can detract from your own woman's beauty.
My biggest problem with porn is how it trains men. Most porn focuses on the man- sex begins with him and ends when HE finishes. The scenes are usually about her pleasing him and based on his expectations. This is all bad habits and not reality. So guys if you watch porn, know that it's like the superman movie you watched as a boy- you really can't fly...it's not real!
Talk about her fantasies. Since women's sex organ is their brain, you can learn a lot about a woman by talking to her about sexual things. She may have fantasies of being dominated (many women do) or being the one dominating. This can tell you how to approach her in the bedroom.
You can also talk about how she gets turned on when she is alone. Does she please herself? This will tell you a lot about what arouses her and let you into her intimate world. More women have learned how to please themselves then how to have a man please them.
She's not like other women. Perhaps I know nothing about men, but from my modest experience, most men are stimulated and aroused in the same way. This is not true about women. Your past experience with other women will not help you- it's a new project with each one. One size does not fit all and the worst thing you can do is assume or even tell her that "this" worked for other women or "this" is how you pleased another woman. The most important thing to make a woman feel in the bedroom is not inadequate. This is equal to her telling you another man had a bigger or better penis- yeah, didn't think you'd like that.
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I love your hubs and how honest and open you are about everything. I was doing the online dating for while and met this man for coffee. He talked none stop about himself for three hours. I should of had the courage to just leave after 30 minutes but didn't. He even walked me to my car only to show me his truck and he wanted to met again. No way Jose......
Another guy I dated for a short time, only worried about satisfing himself when we had sex, I won't call it love because it wasn't. When I called him on it and told him he was a bad lover, well, needless to say....that was the end of that.
Thanks for your honesty.....
You seem to have combined what could easily become a novel and condensed it down to a 2600 word abbreviation. Your article touches on quite a few facets of relationships. Perhaps I am old fashioned, but I felt some things could have been omitted and still provided the readers with a strong understanding of your views. I can see you put a lot of time in composing this article. But I see some things left out. It appears that this is mostly from a woman’s point of view, and not very open minded. "What Women Want" a movie with Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt (2000 paramount Pictures) touched on quite a lot of these very things, in a more comical but explicative way. I have found that when meeting a Woman, and striking up a conversation, one should stick to the 4 and 1 method, for questions about her (or him) then one statement about you. Men are not as in love with their “Lower member” as women think they are. But most men (aside from high school students and frat house members) also know that it’s not the size of the wave, it’s the motion of the ocean. If one keeps the conversation away from the bedroom and more on the other persons likes, interest and dislikes, one can learn important things to help build the relationship. In time if you are able to win them over, they will in turn become interested in your likes and dislikes. Sex my friend is the topping on the cake, but if you haven’t spent the right amount of time preparing the batter and checking the temperature, it will not come out like you planned. That my friend has merit weather you are a woman or man. Women can be just as demanding and sexually oriented as men. If you want to meet the right one, then go where the one’s your looking for hang out. Big clue; If you don’t like sports…don’t go to a sports bar to hook up with your dream man/or woman. Take things slow and easy, in time with the right attitude and care, you will find what you really are looking for. Great effort though.....keep on writing.
must;
Good points, but Laura IS a girl. A smart one at that. She's trying to let us see through the eyes of the one's that make us breath hard. I'll write one letting them see through the eyes of us horny bastards, but I doubt I say anything they don't already know. Actually, Laura can write one from our perspective just as well as she wrote this one. I know her, and she's pretty damn unique. She may blow your mind dude.
jim
Laura, this was an amazing hub. Just one question. Where the hell was this hub 60 years ago when I was 14? Now you tell me how it is supposed to work? I sure wish I had known all this stuff way back when. Great job girl.
Jim~ you mentioned that you made your ex feel safe- htat's a big key right there. Goes along with what I said about a man being a woman's rock- she needs a safe place to fall. On the bad boy thing- I noticed in my dating days that more bad boys than good boys had a sense of humor. Sense of humor will get you everywhere or any woman. Thanks for stopping by my most loyal friend!
must65gt~ as long as we're being honest,I do think I could have summarized a bit better, but I'm a busy mom. I also think your comment could have been summarized better as well so we're even I guess and I'll make my comment excruciatingly long.
"Sex my friend is the topping on the cake"- yes you are old-fashoined. This is certainly not the mentality of younger generations today. Sex is the main course because younger people aren't getting married until much later now, meaning they want physical relationships, then later down the road a guide like this could prove helpful because they haven't had REAL dating experience, mostly casual encounters.
I made my hub a little longer in the intro to get across the fact that this is from a woman's point of view and still there will be men like you who will state that this hub is from a woman's point of view...well duh! Does that make it less valuable? Sadly most guys take a man's advice about women- that seems awfully backwards to me.
Perhaps repeating info here that you found in "What Women Want" proves my point about nagging. Guess us women will be reiterating what some guys still don't get. You may say to take things slow and easy but if you read my hub fully you'd know that women nowadays will think you are not interested if you take it slow so there are tricks to avoid that. And, yes, I think many men who are proud or not ashamed of their lower member think from that region often when it comes to women.
I don't agree about where you meet someone. I think meeting someone outside of their comfort zone is OK. My husband likes watching sports, I don't but that doesn't make or break us. Why can't a woman go to sports bar to meet a man. A woman wouldn't find men hanging out at her book club.
But I have little warning flags about how you think you know it all...those are usually the type of guys that are fixed in their ways and want to please a woman the way they think is right. Your last comment: "great effort though" makes you sound superior so you're one of those types too. I've read your comments before and there is always something that you find wrong- you feel threatened by women?
must65gt~
yes, a man would have written a shorter hub about this, but I'm a woman and we use a lot more words than men. Of course you should know that by now about us.
Also, I know men like to say it's not the wave, but the motion in the ocean. Well I'm not sure of any woman that I know that wuld totally agree to that. If you can be confident with a smaller wave then good for you, but women dig confidence and that usually comes with a bigger wave.
Thanks Young Mike! I hoped to make this a good read for the younger guys, but also the veterans...as a refresher. Although, my sneaky suspicion is you've got it all figured out.
Wave? You got that right sis. Not sure if I ever told you, they wanted to buy my damn wave for the surfing champoinship in Hawaii. Not for sell bra.
marellen~ been there, done that. Yes, I've definitely met those types of men too...never a second date. I'm sure some of those men are great but really need to work on their dating skills, people sklls, woman skills, etc. Thanks for being a great supporter.
Jim~ we're not tlaking anacondas...those scare me more than excite me. But in my experience confidence comes with at least some type of Hawaiian wave worth riding!
Laura, I am going to print this hub and save it just in case I ever find myself in the position to start dating again. I will get it right this time.
(laughing) I hear ya sis
must65,
You're cool man. Come on in and take off that tie and relax. I was just giving you a tough time, but I didn't mean for it to come off as mean spirited. You made some good points. Since you don't know me, I'll be a little more careful when I play. Really dude, we're friendly people here unless someone comes in and shows disrespect, which you did not. Give us a shot pal!
jim
It appears you misunderstood my comments, obviously you prefer to insult and tear someone down if they don't agree 100% with you. I never meant insult to you. I will will withhold any further comments on this or any other hubs you post. God Bless
Must.
What part of I'm Sorry don't you get. If you don't accept my apology there's nothing I can do, but Laura didn't do anything. Don't take it out on her. Man .. if I'd known you were that sensitive, I would have not said anything to you. It's starting to look like you're the one who doesn't like it if someone doesn't agree with you 100%. Re run the tape dude. Pretend I don't exist. Hell, I'll send you a personal apology to compliment the public one.
Must65gt~ I definitely don't mind people respectfully disagreeing with me. However, you had some digs and passive aggresive insults in your comment toward myself/my hub that were purposefully inserted to be more than constructive criticism.
As for my comment back to you...just wanted to let you know we're on even playing field and it's ugly when someone plays your game...wanted to point the mirror back at you.
I'd love to clarify things and understand you where you believe I misunderstood you...if you give the specific example of what I misunderstood. You seem to put big talk out there then retreat. I use hubpages as a place where people of different and like minds come together to understand each other and that isn't done by retreating.
He's on the rag I guess. lol Somebody forgot to tell him to wear a jock strap when he puts on a helmet.
Go look at d williams comment on the brainwash hub. I used to be his hero until he found out I dig Jesus. Now he's lost it.
jim
Lets face it, size does matter to women... and finesse matters also... I think women have a great advantage because to reach not only takes much longer, it's not so explosive a moment that we can't look around and enjoy it fully... I see mens orgasms this way... I hate it for them really... it keeps them in the dark about how much his woman is paying attention... while he is gritting his teeth and moaning I often wonder how and why we are even entertaining the thought of intimacy with this man that seems to be more animal than man at the point of release... maybe that's the draw... none of us, have a clue what that's like as women... so to see someone so close to seizure is shocking to say the least...lol...lol..
I think dating has to be one of the most amazingly deceptive practices on earth... the long way around the mountain is a wonderful place... yet when we married after children, it was slam bam thank you ma'am... how was your day with the kids... then that snoring sound before I can answer...lol...
as far as a man knowing what to do... no a little to the left, oh that was it, no just stay there... it's very hard(no pun intended) to get an average size man to stay in place and he is always striving to do his best... yawn... a confident man with a good size friend touches all places and one does not have to wonder if he is there for you... size is a wonderful thing...lol...
Although I stated I was backing out of this discussion, it was after I posted a comment then deleted it immediately, but not fast enough for amanwithnopants to read it and comment. I forgot that the originator of the hub can still read the comment even after it was removed. So as I backed out of this debate to allow the originator of the hub to bask in her literary glory. Consequently, I became the target of their display of insults.
“amanwithnnopants”” On the rag”, that is such a crass and sexist statement. Why would a gentleman even have that expression in his repertoire?
iIsetti Nowhere in my comments did I imply insult to you or the hub, with the exception of stating that it seemed condensed and could have been made longer. My implication was you could have included more substantiating facts to support your statements. As far as the rest of your wordy attack, since you seem to dwell more on the sex portion, the man’s organ size and how to insure the “woman” is satisfied.
Let’s address that. So if size is important, all a woman deeds is to let him climb on and go to it that will give her everything she needs as long as he has given her time to become aroused? I think you will find many women are more interested in “how” her mate preforms rather than the tool used. Hence my comment about preparing the batter to make the cake all it can be.
Notwithstanding, I would welcome you to show me where I insulted you or your hub, “Passive-aggressive” interesting comment. In as far as size seems paramount; it builds a strong case for abstinence before marriage, if a woman and a man have only one sexual partner they would not know either way if size has any bearing.
According to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, in 2007 47.8% of US high school students reported having ever had sexual intercourse. This number has shown a downward trend since 1991, when the figure was 54.1%.[5] According to a survey commissioned by NBC News and People magazine, 87% of 13- to 16-year-olds report having never had sexual intercourse, and 73% report having not been sexually intimate at all. Three quarters of these respondents say they have not because they feel they are too young, and just as many say they have made a conscious decision not to.A more recent study has shown that number falling to 38%. It’s a shame more “Adults” do not follow their example. Imagine dating with no expectations of sex, people might actually learn more about each other, and then if it comes to that point, they could have as better understanding of “What Women Want,” and women might become interested in their mates anticipation as well. It’s not all about the sex…unless that’s all an individual is interested in.
My overall impression of your hub (since there are no supporting documents) is personal conjecture. Therefore even though, you have some valid and interesting points, it is your personal experiences that this hub is derived from.
Crass and sexist? Dude you are entirely too wound up. Guys like you make me sick. You come out with the "God bless" thing after you come in to a comments section of a stranger's hub with your so called superior thinking. You're insulting, and you're a phoney. If you want to call yourself a Christian act like one. You know .. "Judge not" "being humble" The things Jesus talked about. You judge, insult, then kick the dust off your sandles and walk away. Then you go buy another pair of sandles and come back only to play more of your nerd games. Listen, young people see guys like you in action and go the other way from Christ. I love Christ, and I may be rough, but I don't run around acting like you while wearing my Jesus badge. Guys like you are bad for business. I have to ask for forgivness everytime some clown like you comes in and gets me riled up. Now without giving me a theological lesson, ask YOURSELF What Would Jesus Do in this situation. This isn't about me. It's not about Laura, or this hub. It's about you. I'm anxious to see which Jesus you worship. BTW I love the 65 Mustang G.T. That's the 289 high performence right?
jim
Egos... Ergo a man's phallus symbol to be "right." Does it matter if this hub is from your "personal experience." It is for us to decide if the shoe fits. We get to decide if there is information here that can improve ourselves. We get to decide in the "cafeteria of life" to select what may work for us. If one has locked, preconceived ideas and notions of life, how can one learn? If we "shut-down" and refuse to engage with others whom we may disagree, how can we learn their perspectives.
Our diversities create a stronger society... We need all stereotypes...(playboys, sissies, braniacs, & etc)
Think I'll get my Playboy Magazine and call my favorite Escort to go "shopping!"
Ok, I am not serious...
Of course there are not universal truths in generalizations... If one were to state, "Women want/need..." There are going to be exceptions.. Thankfully we are all "different."
Great article. Enjoyed all of the comments.
Awesome!
My apologies Manwitnopants, please tell me where I came across throwing up Jesus, you are the one who said you were Christian. When I ended with God Bless, it was real not merely an expression for me. And “On the Rag” is crass for meaning a woman was inn her monthly cycle and using a tampon. Hinting she was suffering from mood swings because of hormonal issues; hence, my comment that a gentleman would not have that expression in his repertoire. But I am interested to know what I said that got you so upset with me and why you are making defaming statements towards me. I never said you didn’t have the right to disagree with me. Nowhere did I say or imply superiority. But rave on, let others see you for your words, I will stand on what I write and take all responsibility for it. I believe I am not the one that needs calming. And I hold no ill-will for you any others authors on Hubpages. The Idea; behind this forum is for others to express opinions, positive or negative, to assist each of us to improve our writing ability. This forum on Laura’s hub has turned into an argumentative platform for differences in opinions, unfair to her or this hub.
izettl,
I agree with almost half of what you wrote. The one thing that stuck out like a neon light was "Nagging is important". I completely disagree with this entire paragraph. Nagging is the quickest way to turn a man off and push him away.
For example, when it comes to driving, how do women think we were able to find our way around before we met them?
When it comes to other topics, a woman meets a man and thinks, "I like him, but I will like him more once I change this about him." A man thinks the opposite, "I like this about her. I hope it doesn't change."
Men, please keep in mind that a woman wrote this article. I made the huge mistake many years ago of listening to what my mom and sister had to say about what women want. (My father passed away when I was very young). However, they would turn around and go out with men who were the complete opposite of what they told me women wanted.
You need to give a woman what you know she needs, not what she tells you she wants. So how do you learn about what women need? You can observe men who are successful with women and model them. Do not. I repeat, do not listen to what a woman says she wants. Rather, observe the type of men she actually dates.
R
Now boys need to fight fair...
(laughing) It's all fair. This guy's one arrogant piece of work as I am. The difference is I admit it.
Okay, you answered my question Must. This thing didn't get ugly until I disagreed with your assesment and the author rebutted your statements. I threw a couple of playful jabs early on trying to get you to lighten up. You went deeper into defense mode, so I apologized. You ignored the apology and things took their course.
If "God Bless" is more than an expression with you, you need to back up the talk with the walk. No one who reads this will think you are showing them the beauty of Christ's message.
You just said .."The Idea; behind this forum is for others to express opinions, positive or negative, to assist each of us to improve our writing ability." First, that statement infers that you personally understand the idea behind this forum and those of us beneath your Hub Genius are unable to see it. Thanks for explaining. I have a different opinion. Of course your opinion is superior to mine, but hear me out. My background is in Marketing Development. As a manager then as a small businessman, I've always had the responsibility of "assisting my employees in improving." There are two types of critique. Organizational and Personal. Personal critiques are done in the privacy of an office to avoid embarrassment which is non productive. When you slice the underbelly of someone's work in order to "help" them, it should be done in private. There's a "Contact" (Name of hubber) Instead you do it in public. This way you think it makes you look smart in front of her followers. Looking at your stuff, I honestly don't see where you have anything that can help her anyway. You've got like a third the followers and a lower hub score with hubs like "My Coffee" and "Grilling Armadillo." You write your profile in the third person which is always creepy. Man, you've put yourself in a position that I won't let you out of until you blow off or apologize. You should have manned up and accepted my apology way back there. You're a creep pretending to be otherwise. Maybe where you travel no one calls you out, but I won't let people like you get by playing these games. You're probably not used to the name calling, but if it walks like a duck ...
Like I said, your kind of religion is bad for the Jesus business and I'll never let you win bro. (laughing) If you come back, address this line by line. I'm going to take you apart and expose you for who you really are.
Hey sis, this stuff proves you're an effective writer!
jim
I am betting on Jim! One should not bring a knife to a "gunfight!"
"Must" lighten up... this is simply our opinions... Not being forced down our throats! We have options...
My life's goal is to please my "woman." It is a process... When I treat her as I want to be treated, the magic of life evolves into synergy... We are more than just two people.. We are a force to be reckoned with who enjoys our creative life as it is experienced...
Hi Izetti; Wonderful hub, full of great information. It's always good to get tips from the source. I should have you coaching me over a hidden microphone in my ear when I date.
I do miss the old days when courting was in fashion. Honestly, the getting-to-know-you phase was always my favorite part of dating, building up slowly to the eventually sex. Sadly, that's not considered a virtue any longer.
I generally use the third-date-kiss rule, but I've been told that's too slow and a woman won't think I'm really 'into her' if I wait that long. I guess that's why I'm not a successful dater. Oh well, I can't change who I am.
Thanks for the look inside a woman's mind. Very useful.
Rob
Robwrite,
Three dates before a kiss is way too long. If you haven't had sex by the third date, then it's time to move on to the next girl.
R
ElSeductor,
Having suffered a gunshot wound and surviving, I sky dive, and do some mountain climbing to satisfy my adrenalin habit these days. Married women? Forget it. Just curious; Third date with no sex you just move on without even going for a handy? You know we're all different I guess.
I personaly liked to not even bring sex up until they started wondering if something was wrong and asked why. Then I just say that sex just screws things up, and that it's just too good the way it is. You know the end of this story. Hey wait a minute! I've been telling em the truth all along!! Hey, you're good!
jim
TheManWithNoPants,
Great comment! Every woman has given herself to a man sexually on the first date. It's happened to me on a few occasions. So, if by the third date she hasn't given herself to me, then it's on to the next girl. Life is too short to be waiting around for sex. There are more women in this world than men. One can only hope to get his fair share. LOL!!
R
Jeanine~ great overview from dating to sex. Well stated! I especially like what you said about a woman's orgasm- this is true- it is different form a man. Not that I know really, but I can tell it is. Something about the mind and body in unison makes it more dynamic I think.
Must65gt~ I love facts because I have a science background, but backing my statements with facts about dating and sex would be irrelevant- they are pretty generalized and basic, when we know that these are personal subjects.
About size...when you say all a woman needs is a well-endowed man to get pleasure- that's taking it from a man's point of view. When you are touched you feel pleasure. You can touch a woman the exact same way two times and the only time she will get pleasure is the time in which her brain is activated for pleasure- the brain must be involved. Having said that...seeing at least an average size "member" on a man triggers her brain for pleasure. THe actual size does not totally matter during sex, but the sight of it or just knowing excites her- it's all in her head. Men are triggered to think of a woman more womanly if she has the right dimensions- good size breasts, but the breasts are not the main components that even give him actual physical pleasure.
i also believe in abstenance or very few partners before marriage.
I enjoy the statistics you gave me, but with my scientific background, those are polls/surveys (personal reports) and very unreliable. Almost everywhere you check those statistics you gave me will vary greatly.I don't consider much to be fact, it's really hard to absolutely prove anything. Actually, I have inadvertantly conducted studies and statistics all my life through my experience and being around other women all my life and hearing what they talk about. It would be called observational studies and they are as reliable (or not) as polls and surveys. I bet I have discussed dating, relationships and sex with more women than you have. THerefore, between you and me and most guys out there, I'd be considered an expert. My personal experiences in this hub are more of a representation of women than your statistics. I am being more honest, and the women I've talked to are being more honest to me about these subjects than the people taking part in the surveys (statistics) you mentioned in your comment.People lie on those all the time.
Since I did some concentration courses on human sexuality in school, I do know a lot about both sexes. Not concerning sex, I was involved in research psychology for 3 years.
Rob~ I dont blame you one bit. I think I totally figured out dating men, but honestly I don't envy you guys trying to figure out women. I think you guys have it harder. It's odd to me that not many women even like a longer courtship, but that's the sad reality. Bum deal for some of the good guys out there. I like a 2nd date kiss. First date can be too soon or awkward, but second date is good because it let's women know how they feel about you- so much to the first kiss! I got a funny picture in my head of me coaching you on a date through an earpiece- lol. Women have changed so much over time and it certainly didn't get any easier. Thanks for stopping by.
This lady knows what she is talking about.
The guys who are the best lovers, are the guys who make sure they are pleasing who they are with. The guy who aims to please and makes the woman feel good, is the guy that woman love.
Confidence is also key. If you have confidence to be funny and be yourself, females will love that.
So called bad boys are not always bad, they do not all break laws, and do illegal things. However they have the personality of beliving in themselfs. They have energy,and confidence. They are also playfull, bassicly they know how to be themselfs.
If you talk around woman with energy, and playfullness you will attract them. Woman are attracted to guys with energy, and guys who can make them laugh and feel good.
Bassicly aim to please and make the woman feel good. Be noble, polite and chiviorlus. Be a good listener. Show energy and playfullness.
-For Sex
The main purpose of sex is reproduction. That means that both genders should like it. There is a diffrece in arousal between the genders though. Woman place more emphasis on being coftorable with the person they are with. Woman have the best (time) with a guy who they are conftorable with, who has confidence,who has energy, who aims to make them feel good.
Sex is not vital to attracting females. The other things are more important. There is always that guy who woman love to be around and hang out with, even though he may not be having sex with these woman. Woman have a good time around them. They know they will enjoy themselfs when they are in his company.
Or the guy that offers to listen to womans problems,be a rock for her. Then he aims to make her feel good not always with material things, but by spending quality time with her. Giving her a massage, taking her to the movies etc. These types of guys are the kind of guys that woman love.
settle down boys...Must65 and nopants!
I ADDED A SECTION TO THIS HUB UNDER "SEX" ABOUT PORN. I BELIEVE IT'S RELEVANT TO TALK ABOUT.
-Also size is important. You can see this in nature. Female animals love Strong,Powerfull, Dominant looking males. It may not matter to the actual feeling. However it may be arousing and even comforting in a way for females to see the most dominant male if that makes since.
However dominace can be shown in multiple ways. Through personality, eye contact, touching etc. However during sex it may be good for females to see dominance if that makes since. If the female senses dominace or the most dominant looking male that may get her juices flowing even more.
DALLAS~ Some awesome points about personal opinion. Much of what is written on hubpages is personal opinion. Most of what I write, I hope to help people out or give one or a different point of view to get people to think. Even though medical practices are based on science, each doctor you go to will have a different opinion or interpretation of that science and we end up choosing a Dr that fits us best. This hub definitely won't fit everyone equally.
I know you on here to be very confident and fair in your comments and thank you for yours on this hub...much needed to balance things out. Gettin kinda crazy.
El seductor~ great comments. First, nagging sucks for men, but it's a BIG huge clue that something she nags about often is something you need to pay attention to- having a clue is nice don't you think? If there are a couple fo things she repeats often, try to get those solved, compromised, or listened to so you don't have to hear about them again. Now a woman who nags about everything...I can't help you with that.
You are somewhat right about what women want versus what they need. That's also hard to learn from men because they brag and exaggerate so who knows if he really is good with women and sooo many women fake it or smile when they are not happy. Your sis and mom may have dated total opposites due to wanting to change them. Women will date any man, especially not so good ones because they have the notion of people change. Women will change for their man so they expect a man to also.
Jim withnopants AND Elseductor~ I made most of my guys wait for quite a while. For the more macho type, I became a challenge (you'd think they'd move on fast like you said, but that wasn't the case). I think if a woman is interesting and confident enough, she can control how long a guy waits for sex initially. On my part it wasn't purposeful control, but rather a combination of me being comfortable with this man's body (several make-out sessions) to know how he works with my body and know how to please him all while still respecting myself in the morning. I also know I'm worth the wait and I know plenty of tricks to keep a man physically interested before sex.
Gregoryy~ excellent analysis of women with men. You really pegged the bad boy thing. Totally right about the good energy and confidence and having fun that attracts women whether he's a bad boy or not. I spent times in my life actively dating and some years not because some times were down times for me and if I don't want to be around myself then why would I attract anyone else?
You are right. Size is important more for non-physical reasons than for physical. That being said, a confident or dominant type of guy with lack of size is also a good quality.
Gt's gone. I'm gonna miss him, but he was a little low on spunk. Anyway, I'm thinking about two things. Because of my ego and competitive nature, I've always known the the lady is probably going to have one or to lovers after me, and I really want to be the guy she remembers when she gets old, so I've always tried to do my research, and make it good. I know we're basicly cave men, and I've always attempted to rise above that, but who knows. Sometimes it just a chemistry thing, and it's awesome with no special effort. The chemistry just takes over. That's kinda rare and not the norm though.
The other thing that's still going sticking in my mind though is how you and that other girl observed the male orgasism. That's kind of embarrising, but true. I mean I'm all Romeo'd up doing the love making. Being all smooth and in control. Powerful facial expressions. Looking into her eyes as we make the world turn, then shit .. it's like I get freaking taserd. Screaming like I just got shot in the balls, eyes all bugged out .. That's gotta be enough to freak you guys out. Just when you think you know all the answers, someone changes the questions. :(
jim
I just saw you're last comment sis. Enough tricks? Gee, I bet nobody has the slighest idea what you're talking about. Yea, no one will figure that out sis. (laughing) Call me tomorrow or hell tonight if you get a chance.
jim
What a brilliant hub, written with true comments and none of the slush. Now that isn't to say that the slush isn't important, but you are so correct with your analysis of a woman's needs. The whole idea of a shirt ripping, pants splitting show down is great, if you are well established in a relationship, otherwise many of us woman find it un-necessary. Now I say most women, others will scream "hell yes, this is the way to go" so this my own opinion only.
Woman are thoughtful sensual creatures by nature, and the ones that I know are all agreed, that it is more sensual, gentle nurturing by a man that turns them on.
I really follow your chain of thought in your hub. Good sound advice, and might I add, WOW two very talented and sensual writers with individual strong views following your hub. Both with their own opinions and showing their own red blooded genes here, you are one lucky lady to have them sparing lol
PS If I may without rocking the apple cart just say a small amount about must65gt? I recently started following his hubs from another site, and have found him to be a very sincere gentleman, of good heart and a very talented and sharing writer. Yes he can be a bit long winded at times, but he has a very charitable soul and has really helped me with his suggestions for my creative writing.Please guys don't allow sensitivity to cloud your judgement, many a cross word is spoken but not meant. You are both very classy men, much appreciated by those who follow you on hub pages. Izettl I mean you no disrespect bringing up this delicate circumstance, and I genuinely do admire you for causing such controversy. If only I could attract the same interest, but sadly now over 50, my time has long gone.
Isettl, I enjoyed this hub of yours - How to Please a Woman; From Dating to Doing it - from the beginning to the end, and I agreed all the way with you.
The comments made me smile, for they reveal so clearly the fact that men honestly believe they have superior wisdom, insight and knowledge. Men are really not at all able to hear what women say, not to talk about listen and take to heart what women say. We women like to explore, show and discuss the entire hippopotamus regarding matters that are important to us, while men get distracted by the ears (probably because the size stirs similar imbedded perceptions). BUT, we women do exactly the same when men try to explain things that are important to them.
We humans are sensitive egoists, and each of us wishes to obtain exactly what we really like. Because each of us is unique, we will never find somebody who fits us perfectly. Fortunately we are all able (but not necessarily willing) to adapt and to make the best of what we are lucky enough to have.
Thumbs up. You always-always impress me with your views and with the way you conduct yourself.
thebluestar,
Yeah, I got a little tough on GT I guess but honestly, go back and look at how it all went down from the begining. He critiqued the hub. I responed by opening up with "good points..." The author agreed with his critique on some points and not others then I actually apologized since he was new to the show and reassured him that nothing was meant sean spirited. what does he come back with? The .. "Obviously you prefer to tear down individuals who don't agree with you 100%" crap.
Just go back and skim the comments as they started and progressed. Maybe he was having an off day, I don't know, but it's obvious he came into this with a chip on his shoulders. He definitly comes in with a superior attitude, and he doesn't have any credentials to back up his critique. He's no Stephen King. (Neither am I) The dude definitly started it, then started whinning when I stuck up for myself.
I'd be willing to do a cyber hand shake with the guy and start over if he'd be willing to man up about his end of what went down. I've just seen some real bullies come into these hubs, and I won't put up with a bully on or off the hub. Never have, never will. I dunno .. Maybe I'm wrong, I hope not, but who knows? In any case, both our times were wasted I guess, and ya can't get time back.
jim
Bluestat,
Over 50 and your time is gone!!!?? If that's the case, I've been dead a few years girl. Nobody told me!
Naaaa, don't even think like that. Never, never .. Everything is attitude. You're still a growing kid!
jim
Jim, you are a gentleman indeed. Boys will be boys and have your odd fights, but it takes a man to stand up and say sorry. High five big man, you have a kind heart under that tough muscle, wink lol :)
Jim~ lol. your comments are seriously making me laugh. Love your description of male orgasm- lol. Yes, I actually like to get to know a guy physically and mentally before sex.
thebluestar~ great comments on here from you. Couple of the boys got rowdy in here,but I do understand where both are coming from...and it's from opposite ends. I also agree with Jim that your time is not gone- 50? that's the new 40.
Martie~ yes, I could probably shout this stuff out for days and not one man actually hear it.
"Because each of us is unique, we will never find somebody who fits us perfectly. Fortunately we are all able (but not necessarily willing) to adapt and to make the best of what we are lucky enough to have." This is a great and very real analysis of men and women, our inevitable differences. I think the best thing for each of us to do...male or female, is to admit we don't know everything and be willing to learn about the other sex continuously. Women state they love a confident man, I have said this, and yet many men who are confident assume they know everything about pleasing a woman. Confidence is nice, but with a small dose of humility too. Thank you so much for stopping by. I respect your words of wisdom.
love the hub,it was exactly what I expected in a hub from you girl! I thought it was a great female perspective, as I am a female, and have done more than my fair share of dating. I wish courting were an option to men today. I think females who sleep around make dating difficult for women who don't. It has become almost expected and I find it insulting. I like sex as much as the next person, but would like to be in a meaningful relationship before just jumping into bed with someone. Keep on hubbing, and I'll keep on reading!
Laura and whoever. To be honest, I could never make it in the dating scene that exists today. Here's why. I began my thing with girls at fifteen. It was a different world then. (giving away my age) By the time I setteled down and started a family, I'd been with close to three hundred great girls. Not a mut in the bunch. Here's the thing. I've used a condom exactly twice and completly hated it. If I found myself in the dating business tomorrow, I'd buy a gallon of "Shake eze" and date myself. I know there's AIDS and God knows what else out there. Having sex the way I like it, would damn near be suicide. Back in the day it was crabbs and .. I can't spell it. Begins with a "G?" I know I'm a spoiled brat, but if I can't have it my way, I'll just pass. NOW .. there's the male orgasism thing that's got me concerned. After that conversation, I went in the bathroom and did myself. I watched myself in the mirrior, and ya'll are right. When it hits we look like a bus just ran over our foot. I'm really wishin I'd missed that particular dialog. :( I'll figure out something.
jim
flamingoville~ if only men knew the sex would be even better if they took they're time and waited a little longer before trying to jump in bed with a woman. Love your comment and very true about other women who sleep around.
Must65gt~ it's only fair, even if you don't come back, that I point out to you how you were passively insulting in your original comment to me.
"it appears this is from a woman's point of view and not very open-minded". not open-minded? Did you want me to include a panel of people male and female writing this? Just because it's by one person doesn't mean it's not open-minded. Strange comment- yes, my hub was written by a woman about women. Why make a comment about that?
"Great effort though.....keep on writing". Effort implies I did not acheive what I wanted to do. Here you gave me jab, but tried to make it casual. Great effort? So I didn't acheive what I set out for, only made the A for effort? According to whose standards did I not acheive what I set out for. I would never say great effort because you don't know exactly what a writer was trying to acheive. I acheived what I wanted to say.
You mentioned I reiterated a lot of what was in Mel Gibson's movie "What Women Want", but it was funnier and more explicative than my analysis. That movie was made for entertainment and my hub was intended to perhaps entertain, but mostly help. That's a few things I can mention about your comment, maybe I misunderstood it all.
Jim~ I'm on the same page as you with all the diseases...yikes! And i can honestly say that a woman's body is more attractive than a man's when naked- that's just my opinion from my nude beach exeperience and I think a woman's orgasm is probably more attractive as well- don't know for sure haven't done it in the mirror- lol.
Both are very enjoyable... in different ways... both have the same landing net in the circus... yet one is like the man in the canon and he travels a ways before he finds the net... the other like the trapese artist. many approaches before the graceful flip into the air, finally finding... nothing but net...lol...lol
Laura,
Hmmmm .. I personally agree with you, and so does Hugh Heffner, and some others about who looks better bare. Yeah, I never thought about the orgasism thing until this blog, and for sure the female's happy time is much sexxier than ours. I mean we look just plain goofy. :(
Jeanie,
Yeah, good analogy. It's all about net, and the trapese thing is good, but it's like the guy .. no, that's good too. Never mind.
jim
Hi Jim... thanks for standing up to the bully that was in room earlier(must65gt)...some men actually think they know what a women feels inside... which is an impossibility...my tribe is as close as it gets and we know it's impossible...
Hey Bluestar... your time has not passed... women of wisdom are more important now than ever...
Must65gt... please try and realize that young women of today, are much more in tune with themselves, as well as what they believe and don't automatically defer to a man's opinion... and although they love the new shows on TV like, "Mad men" and "Pan Am", most are not "desperate Housewives". For young women today, it's just a romantic look instead of a realistic one...it's a new world hon, so try not to hurt... others or yourself... I'm sure you are a good man... all of us have stepped into the yellow jacket nest before... so get your butt back in the game... and that would be the game... called... comment...
Jeanine~ nice comments there! You were much more eloquent with Must65gt than I was. I love the TV show references. What dating has turned into is so different- even courting is not something that women want much of anymore (too bad), but reality is they are used to moving faster (usually on a deadline because school and career, etc came first and waiting longer to marry, more casual relationships). They want a relationship to start the same way as a casual encounter and most of that is doomed- they are different types of relationships, but I know so many men who get left behind BECAUSE they didn't move fast enough. Maybe I need to write something for the ladies...
You have done a very good hub here with great advices simply and clearly served for those who are interested! Isn’t that what it is all about? To be interested! To be interested to learn why and how! A curious person is much more interesting than a person who thinks he/she knows it all! Some are more interested in themselves and their own goals for the evening and they completely forget that it is a human being they are dating or that they need to address 90 % brain as you explained:) It is possible to simply succeed in “doing it” with less effort, but then it will be all it is: “doing it”. Once! A sound and healthy relationship needs more than that, otherwise most women will soon die of boredom.
Even though sex in a long-term relationship can be a big problem I think you have done just right in putting the subject sex last. The other more important things you mentioned under the “relationships” is the small little things, that if at least some of them are right, will pretty easy lead to more sex! Absence of sex is many times the least of the trouble in a relationship although it is a sign that something isn’t right. To want sex is also about being able to enjoy life with all our senses and to be happy.
This article is a goldmine for those who are interested and it is also brilliant!
Tina
I agree... there needs to be more written for the girls... men unfortunately are losing their way and some of it could be they just need a helping hand...lol... in more ways than we have been giving them... we are in the computer age for more than half a century now and most men are still in the 50's in their view of women... I like their goofy backwards ways when it comes to trying to express their love but some are so slow that they never make the leap... women are moving at a faster pace... I say computer age because, typing used to be the secretaries job now that everyone is on computers around the world, the secretary has become the CEO in a lot of companies... this simple move in social behavior seems to have left the boys in some what of a stupor... men want it like it was and its just never going to be that way again... it seems when confronted with this challenge the boys or some still call them men... or at a disadvantage... we can all ignore it if we want but we are coming to a new fork in the road... the girls are already making the turn... I have begun to worry about the boys... Ii do love how beautiful their bodies are though... their social skills seem to be waning though... I'm still pulling for them though... lol...
With regards to "Must65gt~ I love facts because I have a science background" then you remarked "About size...when you say all a woman needs is a well-endowed man to get pleasure- that's taking it from a man's point of view."
You didn't check your facts..I didn't say that.
You were angry because I found fallacies with your hub, and I still do. You missed the positive things I stated and worked to slander me. But that's your right and this is your hub. Your grammatical errors and generalizations were the main things I found wrong with the hub. I said "Good effort" because it was. Would you rather I lie and say Great work, just to build your ego, or do you want to become a better writer? You referenced facts that were not previously introduced (High school speech 101) and used all inclusive statements with no supporting arguments. (And all men sees to exclude the ones whom are "Old Fashioned and those who still have chivalric mindsets) Perhaps you're satisfied with mediocre, and I was wrong to think you wanted to improve and could become a better writer. And you called me a bully, look at the attacks you and manwithnopenus threw at me. If you are an example of the "Young women of today, then I AM old fashioned and glad to remain so. Perhaps that is why it is said, there are so few "Good Women" today and so hard to find. But it is also said about men. Its the standards we set and weather or not we sacrifice those, and accept ourselves as mundane, or set the standards higher.
Wow, just what I needed, literally. This describes my wife perfectly. I can tell by that, you know what is going on. Reading your article, it is so professional. You get that feeling from it. Very good advice and tips on all subjects. I will get to more of your work soon. Looking forward to it. You should be published! :) Voted up.
Must65gt,
That's twice you've lied and said you wern't coming back. Here you are again. Another unprovoked attack. You appear to be a stalker, and I WILL report you to the hub pages if you don't leave this lady alone. Do you only prey on women? Take my advise and move on to your next victim. Your luck's run out here.
jb
Laura & Jim - I suggest you just consider the source and put this guy on ignore. At first the back and forth was funny, now it is just becoming a waste of everyone's time. He must have way too much time on his hands.
Mike,
Yeah, This guy has some deep seeded problems though, and for all I know he could be dangerous. If he does this in cyber world, who knows what he may be up to in his own neighborhood? I've never seen it when someone hangs around for a week in these coments. Then he continues to say he's not coming back, and waits several days (three or four) then comes in out of no where and starts bullying the female author all over again. This dude isn't wired right, and this really ought to be looked into.
jim
You two are impressive if nothing else, report away, I still said noting negative. However, I will write a fully explained review. You only want passive individuals that will accept your bashing and unfounded rants. Obviously you still haven’t read my comments; only skimmed over them and found the parts you wanted to. I was asked to come back and comment and I did; to defend myself from your brazen statements if nothing else. I sent izetti a private email but she wanted this all public and would not reply. My review of the hub is ready with a full account of the grammatical and topical errors. As I stated before, I respected Izetti's writing and offered my thoughts (though not presented in the best way by her standards) as a recommendation, to possibly help her in becoming a stronger writer and give her hub strength. But manwithnopants made this a pissing contest and Izetti followed suit. Some on hubpages want to be accepted as a quality writers, some are protagonist, and others to simply use this as a way to vent.
Must;
Let me get this straight. In addition to the never ending harrassment in the comments section of this hub, you're sending her private e-mails? All this under the guise of making her a better writter? There are two major things wrong with this. First, you aren't as good a writter as she is. Not even close. Just look at the results. She's written 135 hubs and has 1,345 followers. That's 9.9 followers oer hub. You've written 109 hubs with 120 followers, or 1.1 followers per hub. You want to tell her how to write? That's prety special. Second, she's rejected this so called help over and over again. You are fixated on this woman, and that is dangerous. You've ignored apologies early on from me, so that you could continue your sick harassment of this woman. You can't even spell yourself ("I said noting negative")
"Themanwithnopants turned this into a pissing contest." You pick on women, and if another man gets in the way of you're need to dominate them, you start whinning. Laura has been a personal friend of mine for a long time. I won't let anyone play sick games with her. Real men protect women, not harass them and try to dominate them. You're out of control. I'm not going to waste anymore time with you. You've been told to beat it, now beat it.
Tina~ love your explanation of "doing it"- great! "To want sex is also about being able to enjoy life with all our senses and to be happy." This is so true and a wonderful piece of wisdom.
Must65gt~ I respectively agreed to disagree with "ElSeductor" who commented. i did not agree with some of his points but we both got over it.
This hub wasn't meant to be a speech and debate article, it is not meant to be an argument either. I do not need supporting evidence because it is my opinion. When someone writes personal poetry as I know you have, should you have supporting arguments and statistics to back up what you feel? Women, men and relationships are highly subjective topics. You can go to any counselor, parent, teacher, and even expert, and they will have various opinions. You and I and everyone else got our information from somewhere- did you check the facts? If you learned about sex through facts, that's not good (in my opinion). Certainly you've learned the most about sex and women and relationships through experience (that's where the real learnning is). Perhaps you learned from friends or parents or movies about what women want, but that's still opinion.
My hub was meant to be a take it or leave it- if it doesn't help you, then leave it. The reason I found your comments a little negative was because you were telling my how to write- there is not right or wrong way to write. Many famous authors break grammar error all the time. My hubs, my writing, are meant to get people to think, to start a conversation. How can you tell me how to write my hubs when you didn't know the goal of why I write them? To say great effort is something I'd expect to hear from a high school teacher about an essay I wrote. But not really a comment for a personal hub. I focus on ideas, not grammar. I know all the grammar rules, but I don't have time to sit around and pick at my work with a fine tooth comb. How about you babysit my 4 yr old, then I'll have more time. I get inspired then I write. Mabye I'm just a simpleton.
well now that explains everything. I will post the review now.
What I really think is going on here is I misunderstood Must65gt's comments because I did not see how; #1 He was an expert on this topic, #2 was any more of an expert than I am, #3 was a better writer than me (I want the facts to support that), #4 knew more about pleasing woman than a woman, #5, I was entering a writing contest based on grammar. If he doesn't like, then pick at the particular points, not on whether i had facts or wrote it correctly, or the length of the hub, etc. Let's focus on the points in the hub.
Jimwithnopants~ you got a good point about followers. Also when I wrote on here more regularly, my hub score was often 100.I don't think that proves I am a good write but it proves I have accomplished what I've wanted to ,and that is to get my ideas out and present hard-to-approach topics to people. Get them talking about or thinking about things- it's all in my profile page about what my goals are.
Must65gt~ I write business documents, business blogs, etc for my actual "job". I DON"T make mistakes or errors on them. Hubpages is a place for me to go where I don't have to be so rigid in my writing, express myself freely, and discuss topics that people give a damn about while making a little bang for my buck too.
PLEASE tell me where i am bashing or ranting in my hub.
Sis,
"He will now post the review." (laughing) This poor guy really does think he's a writter. That's funny and sad at the same time. Call me when you can. Don't encourage this guy by responding to his blubber. He's not concerned with you're writting, he's obsessed with you, and that's not healthy. If you want me to stay out of it, let me know, but this guy doesn't critique male writters like this, and I think he's a nut job. It seems he gets upset when a woman says a decent sized schlong is more enjoyable than a pee wee.
Sorry Must65gt~ never got the email. Went to re-check my email and still I don't see it there.
Also if you notice, the women who've commented have all agreed with me so I must know something about women. Proof is in the pudding.
lyricwriter~ thank you so much for the wonderful comment! Hope you found something helpful.
Please understand, I never said your statements were wrong. I only pointed out I thought there were some weak areas that might need tweaking. manwithnopenis (your brother I presume)still thinks I am out to bash you. Although I did agree with his post on what it means to be American, his unfounded rants and disparaging remarks will prevent me from making any strong positive statements in his favour. The e-mail was sent on hubpages and I am not sure why it never came through. The areas that I felt needing correction were posted in my last comment. Also, you should remove “Men” inclusively or make it “Some men” You may consider identifying certain groups if you need to. But unsupported generalizations remove validity from the hub as a whole. Asa far as his "Schlong" comment, that only gives merrit to my opinion of him. As I said to him earlyier, gentlemen do not make statements of that natutre.
Hey Genius,
You misspelled "earlier" you dimwit. There goes your validity. Yeah, you're an expert on everything including what being a gentleman is. In my opinion, you've got a gentleman confused with a nerd. You nerd, me gentleman. You're definition of a gentleman is a man who trys to control a woman through demeaning insults, but doing it without cuss words. You ARE the definition of a hypocrit. Sis, if you want to waste your time with this guy, go for it. He's stalking you. There's a lot of creeps like him out there. He's looking at your picture and doing naughty things to himself I'm betting. Any attention you give him gets him excited. I'm going to send some folks over for a visit, and get their opinion. If I'm hammering on this guy and I'm wrong, I'll apologize for a second time. I tried that in the begining, but he just doubled down.
There's a contest? Can I play?
jim
Most men really find it difficult to keep their ladies, but are so damn good in getting them..what a red flag!
Hi izettl...being interested in, both, getting and keeping a woman...I have entered this Hub with an open mind, a hopeful heart, clean underwear, a box of candy (for the 90%) and a box of condoms (for the 10%). I shall be coming to you for all my dating questions from now on...I have many. If you don't mind...I'm gonna do a follow.
As for the raging debate emanating out of Central Florida from Must65gt...I looked...with two published hubs in 22 months...I wouldn't be too concerned with his opinion...after all...if his opinion was valid...he would have three hubs.
My two cents...I liked your Hub...um...could I get some change back on that two cents...I work for Hubpages so....I need it...Very nice to meet you!
Shout out to Jim...pursuant to our conversation...yeah...finish the job my friend...finish the job (giggle, snort).
Must65gt~ Your advice about using the terms "some men" or "some women" I can't stand. It's almost one of my biggest pet peeves. With all the information available to us nowadays in the Internet age, so you actually believe I need to use that type of disclaimer language. It is a given that not all information applies to everyone equally so almost nobody and nothing you see written will write "some" on anything. With so much information, it is also a given that everything you read is take it or leave it. If it doesn't apply to you, it's not the fault of the writer or the reader, it just doesn't pertain to you.
It's funny you say I may want to be more specific on my hub and address a more specific audience. Geez, I'm not writing a book. I wrote a hub- you do know those aren't very long. It is to get you interested in a topic, discuss it, and I love when people can add to my topic in the comment section- not take away from it (as I fell you have done). If it is too general to you, let's here it- what can you elaborate on. You gave me some statistics earlier about sex and I immediately told you exactly why statistics aren't very valid or reliable.
You said I did not back up my statements with facts or dependable type of evidence, etc. I still don't understand that because I am a woman and I have conversed with many a woman in my days and I have about as much support for my claims and tips as your statistics- obersavational data (what I have gathered my info from) is as valid as your polls that are taken by all these agencies. Don't believe everything you read. People cling to statistics like the gospel, but in my experience with research, there are few that are valid. My expertise is in the fact that I am a woman and the title says "How to please a woman", not "how to please every woman". How many articles do see that state "How to build SOME shelves" or "How to buy SOME houses" or "How to raise SOME chickens". How about this I will permit you to comment on my hub when you find me 3 aricles or books that are titled or use the terminology of "some" in reference with their topic.And beyond that, I'm quite done with this waste of my comment section.
mojefballa~ awesome point. I tried to cover some of that in my hub because I know many men are interested in getting women, but not so much how to keep them.
THoughtSandwiches~ funny! I think all you need is clean underwear and you're good. lol. Thank you so much for stopping by.
IZ, I've always placed women above men, but every woman is different and each moment is the same. At times a man wants to do something, and a woman wants a quickie. Stereotyping is bad either way. Any person knows their body better than another, until a new button is pushed.
Women can be much more agressive than men. Turn down a lady, and you've never seen anything so mean. Being on stage I had to do the above frequently. Not bragging, true. Women can lose all sense of dignity when they want a singer immediately.
I admit to loving the chase, courting. Then again, I think with two heads. While dating, women know before a man how far they will go. Men only hope & pray. H
Harvey~ there are some things very specific to every woman- that's why talking about sex is a good form of foreplay and getting to know the woman. I enjoyed being chased after and I enjoyed the chase also. I didn't like a man who was too easy. Sounds weird huh? But true- booooring.
Talking to women friends, many women are aggressive and learn that behavior because they think men want that and then it's in their repotoire so they act that way. SOme of the crazies can act this way too. Women equate sex with love in a certain way so if a man doesn't want sex, they think he's getting it somewhere else or doesn't love her.
Cute puppy by the way.
I have read the comments here a number of times because the hub came to my attention via a private forum.
I have critiqued and reviewed well over 100 hubs, virtually always upon request by the author. It has always been my opinion that HubPages "is not the New York Times," meaning that pragmatism must prevail concerning literary standards, with some tolerance for errors and imperfections. With fiction, errors can really distract the reader (ruin the suspension of disbelief), but with non-fiction, as long as the meaning is clear, I wouldn't usually make a comment on a few basic errors.
Literary criticism has its place, but HubPages may not be the best forum in that regard. Hence these private networks, where the atmosphere is more cordial and the circle of readers much smaller, may be more suitable.
When I write "opinion hubs," I do not necessarily try to be objective or even "correct." I try to write the best advocacy that I can, so as to sway readers to accept my points of view. If someone rejects that, demanding I be more objective, this does not really concern me as it was never my intention to be objective to begin with. With respect to "factual" hubs, I would be more concerned if someone claimed to have found flaws in my thinking.
W.E.
website examiner~ well put. I agree with your points completely. I write for businesses where I have to be very precise and I used to write research articles and summaries...also precise. So this is why I like hubpages because it is more relaxed atmosphere. Your point states exactly what I hoped to convey to one of the commenters and I agree it went a little too far with trying to explain to this individual.
Damn you're SO controversial iz!!! :-)
I am beating myself up right now for falling asleep and not seeing this hub weeks ago. Lol...
Wow, must65gt come on guy. You really don't see how you're coming off as a Composition Professor but in a condescending way? Then you're attempting to correct her opinions. One thing that should be learned from all of this is that its pretty cool to have a ManWithNoPants that has your back! :-) Wow I didn't mean that like it sounds... ewww...
If someone can't see how "Good effort" comes off as extremely condescending then they just don't get it and its probably a waste of time explaining it.
I actually liked the nagging bit. Its really an advanced concept though. You weren't saying that the nagging is good, you were saying that when a woman nags it means she's stressing something important. You actually should ignore the fact that its actually a very bad way to communicate her point and if a guy is smart he'll see what's really going on. :-) The problem of course is us guys generally aren't smart or pereptive enough to get that. All we hear is "nag nag nag." Am I close?
I'm with the Old Pool man though. You need to teach this class in High School!!! Note to self: Stop call out "I'm hard baby!" Lol...
Thanks iz!!!
Lapse~ thank you. I thought perhaps I was being oversensitive but I couldn't ignore what I thought and I had to call him out, especially on hubpages where many people write just to write because they love it so I'll address those and consider those people that have a problem with what I'm writing about but not how I write it.
Yes, good point about the nagging. That was one of those points I wanted to talk about so men understand that language and why it occurs. Nagging occurs for a reason, but women should also know that's not how to get a man's attention.
Thanks so much for stopping by. I love to get a man's point of view on this too!
This is the most excellent and honest hub...I am on my phone. I will comment more tomorrow
Deborah Brooks~ Thanks for the excellent comment!
I do like this hub. You are a very honest person. I want my husband to read this. I need to remember not to nag. I know that is not good. I don't know why I do that. Great hub
Have a great evening
debbie
Thank you so much Debbie! I think if we felt like men were listening we wouldn't be "nagging". I always make sure to get my husband's attention and make my comments or what I need to say short and simple- that works best.
Have a good day
Laura
Men are so visual... it's easier to just flash them, then you have their attention... lol... then you can proceed to tell them what you want...lol... and if you don't want to have to pay up later for your mischief... just carry a picture of a a half dressed woman... like flash cards when they were little...lol... gets their attention every time... no nagging... no bragging... just taking advantage of a good thing...lol...
J~ I can attest to this being true! Jsut flash them! That's how to please men.
they are just little boys after all... but hey they have big boy equipment some times and that can be fun... but not for a new mom... so go back to the flash card Idea... lol...lol...
jeanine we're just little boys??? let me put down my GI Joes to respond to that... Oh wait, Bugs Bunny is coming on. I'll do that later...
Jeanine~ lol. wow funny!
Lapse~ even more hilarious than Jeanine's comment! I love Bugs Bunny!
Hey Lapse.... you are the funniest.... I want to tell you how much I enjoyed your last hub.... oh look there's a chicken...lol...lol...lol and little boys are a lot of fun... so can I bring you a sandmich and some chips... here's some chocolate milk... for you to hun...lol...lol...
Izetti... my oh my... it's her highness... of hip... wonder woman of words... that carrier of little man ... hope you are doing well... gets some rest...
Laura, I like this, nice work, I did not get a chance to read it all, running out, but I will!!
TheManWithNoPants Level 7 Commenter 7 months ago
Okay,
First .. this was a great piece of work, and by now we expect nothing less from you. You know I'm a fan AND a friend. Having said that, Allow me; I still open doors for a lady. I do a lot of old fashioned stuff, but I'm also one the most self absorbed individuals that God ever made. I'm the most important thing in my relationship. If that slips, I fail. When I was in Omaha we had little reunion. Debbie, one of my old girl friends and I were talking. When I was young, I was extremely wild and crazy, and I asked her, "Man, what'd you ever see in me?" she said, "You always made me laugh and I always felt safe with you." "I knew nothing or no one could ever touch me as long as I was with you." She went on to say that no one including hubby ever made her feel that way. It blew me away so bad I'm writting a song about it. I was a bad boy, a guaranteed heart breaker, and I never understood how I've been so fortunate in having the quality women that I've had. Also, I'm still friends with all of my x's. I know that's hard to believe, but really DID love em all. Either a bad boy's good or you women are a little goofy sis. I dunno. I'd like to hear your thoughts.
jim